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Unexpected  Quotes
It is only those who are lightly esteemed that can make unexpected impact. They are the ones we have been waiting for.

—Paul Bamikole

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ImpactLightly-EsteemedUnexpected
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A blanket could be used to aid a sinner’s nightly prayer. I’m not shaking because I’m cold—I’m trembling with trepidation over the Wrath of God.

—Jarod Kintz

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BizarreBrick-And-BlanketBrick-And-Blanket-Test
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A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.

—Jarod Kintz

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Bricks could be used to generate smiles among the general population. Just hand them out, along with handshakes, and say, This will make everything OK. And guess what? They’ll believe you.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to crush the Fruit of Desire and make the Juice of Destiny. Drink it before I lose my erection.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to manipulate people into doing what you want. If anything could offer one man an unfair advantage over another, it’s a brick—especially if that brick is made of gold.

—Jarod Kintz

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Why did the brick and blanket cross the road? Because some maniac had just run over the chicken. That maniac was me, and that chicken was delicious.

—Jarod Kintz

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Bricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket can be rolled up, much like I roll up my emotions when I listen to political rhetoric.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used like a fleeglebeegle, which in turn could be used like a zoopkatofka, which itself could be used like a Wexlybexter Device (the one with the hand crank, not the one...

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to cure the common cold. I mean, come on it’s just common sense. A blanket is warm, and if a cold is what it’s named, then a blanket would transform...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used as motivation to acquire more bricks. Hey, I’m just trying to help here. Don’t shut me out by building a wall between us.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick on a stick could be licked like a lollipop.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t figured out how to tie their own shoes by now, torture really is...

—Jarod Kintz

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People love to love, but I love to sleep, and that is why cats are closer to God than bricks are to blankets. –Cap’n Kintz

—Jarod Kintz

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It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I’m sure I would have felt quite guilty.

—Jeff Lindsay

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GenuineGuiltySoul
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The beauty of the unexpected lies within the surprise of the momentum,not only at its tipping point, but also within all the moments waiting.

—Akilnathan Logeswaran

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BeautyMomentsMomentum
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The More Interesting Than.” I would say get Miley Cyrus to do it, but she isn’t interesting enough.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to encourage trees to grow fruitful things like money. If money grew on trees, then I’d get drunk on that fermentation.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to stop abuse. Don’t cover up the atrocity—cover up your head, because what you don’t see, may as well not exist.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick and unchewy piece of chewing gum.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used as a penis enlargement aid. Just tie a string around both your penis and a brick, and drop the brick off the roof of a building. I’m not stretching the...

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be shared with someone cold. And if you’re sharing your blanket, they might as well share the blame in getting pregnant. It’s not like they can blame me, because I was in...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used like love. But not my love, because my love is more like a blanket.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itchiness of desire that cannot be satisfied by a single scratch.

—Jarod Kintz

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I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add another blanket on top of my bed. I practice inefficiency even while I sleep, so I’ll be...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to communicate with dolphins. Be quiet! I’m trying to talk to the swimming mammals.

—Jarod Kintz

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I shit bricks, because I’m a constructive pooper.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could used to translate and transform long cuneiform texts into shorter tweets. Sure, just take the brick and smash the clay tablets, and each broken fragment should be roughly 140 characters.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they’re roughly the same size, the have the same population (the brick may have one less person), and Grandma Kintz makes...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in the military? If no, why are you acting like a brick?

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be frozen and used to cool off a warm body as you slowly thaw it out.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be divided into four even parts and given to three equal people. I’d be an ideal politician, because I believe in social progress.

—Jarod Kintz

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wen thectaste of my own medicine is given to me results into silent treatment,its not bitter therefore i enjoy the medicine i gave you too.

—Mohlalefi j

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BitterFairnessHot
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It’s much harder to twist the charitable arm of a lottery winner compared to that of a man at his lowest ebb. It sounds like the wrong way round at first, but when you really...

—Carla H. Krueger

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AdvantageBehavioural-PsychologyCarla-H-Krueger
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A brick could be used to remind you. I would remind you of what you need to be reminded about, but that’s not my role—that’s the brick’s place.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used, or it could not be used. They are opposites, but that doesn’t mean one is good and the other is bad.

—Jarod Kintz

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Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used as a flying decision inducer. You could have said yes before I threw the brick, but I suppose you’ll be more agreeable when you wake up from your coma.

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be more effective if I could just record every single phone conversation, email, text message, Google search, and Skype video chat...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick could be used to teach men how to dance, by learning balance. But a blanket could also teach men how to dance, by providing motivation to get good so they can get some...

—Jarod Kintz

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A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on a bed. Or so I heard—not that I’d know from personal experience.

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must!

—Jarod Kintz

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A blanket provides warmth. So does the joy a good joke brings.

—Jarod Kintz

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