My penis smells like pasta. Also, I personally tested it out, and your spaghetti’s not too hot now, if you want to eat it.

I’ve learned that he is a very sincere person and that he has a passion for food and he wants to educate people about food. He’s definitely one of a kind.

Soon you catch your first glimpse of a vineyard basking in the sun, its broad leaves silently turning sunlight into sugar, ripening vitis vinifera, the European grapes that make the world’s finest wines. For a...

…no matter how rhapsodic one waxes about the process of wresting edible plants and tamed animals from the sprawling vagaries of nature, there’s a timeless, unwavering truth espoused by those who worked the land for...

To identify with others is to see something of yourself in them and to see something of them in yourself–even if the only thing you identify with is the desire to be free from suffering.

Perhaps this war will make it simpler for us to go back to some of the old ways we knew before we came over to this land and made the Big Money. Perhaps, even, we...

Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power,has that ability to comfort.

I’d eat a picnic in Hades with him.

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

Octopuses are tough–and not just in the sense that they can take out sharks (both real and computer generated, as in Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus). They’re almost pure muscle. With tridirectional muscles in the...

Sandwiches,’ she said, ‘like diamonds, are forever.

Integrating the beauty of seasonal change into the residence was a concept that remains true even today even in the more cramped, inner city machiya.

My guess is that the Jonathan would be as out of place in England or Kazakhstan, the native ground of its ancestors, as I would be in Russia, the native ground of my own. The...

That many if not most people…who want fresh leafy greens in January buy them at the supermarket after they’ve been bleached and plastic-bag shipped from California or beyond is not a tribute to modern technology;...

It was beautiful here, and the people were so nice. Even the food was more like home, with the rice and the sushi.

Life itself is the proper binge.

I’m a big believer in cooking your own meals. It makes it much easier not only to ensure that you eat fresh foods but also to follow the second rule of eating (see previous chapter),...

The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Takes Me to Pick Up This Food Rule.

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!

What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried to eat a scented candle.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it — after all, they’ve already given us tasteless bread.

Too much food results in dullness of mind.

In terms of food, so far we have only used liquid smoke as a preservative for fish and tofu. But I’m sure it can also be applied to other foods including noodles.

I’m not sure why it is, but I love food more than just about anything else.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I’d be a 400 pound guy.

The porters could always be coaxed to continue a little further through driving rain by the mere suggestion of a Pot Noodle at the end.

If you eat healthily most of the time you can afford to indulge yourself occasionally, but if you eat nothing but junk, you’ll end up not being able to run for a bus without huffing...

There is also a lot of construction and importation of foreign food items that is pulling the foreign exchange out of the system.

Today, if you pay a[n US] dollar for a pound of apples in the supermarketm only about six cents covers the farmwork used to get it there; (…)

For a moment, or a second, the pinched expressions of the cynical, world-weary, throat-cutting, miserable bastards we’ve all had to become disappears, when we’re confronted with something as simple as a plate of food.

On those luminous mornings Adela returned from the market, like Pomona emerging from the flames of day, spilling from her basket the coloful beauty of the sun –the shiny pink cherries full of juice under...

The Fine Arts are five in number: Painting, Music, Poetry, Sculpture, and Architecture–whereof the principle branch is Confectionery.

. . . every society that grows extensive lawns could produce all its food on the same area, using the same resources, and . . . world famine could be totally relieved if we devoted...

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?

Original, in French: La bonne cuisine est la base du véritable bonheur. English: Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness.

Those dripping crumpets, I can see them now. Tiny crisp wedges of toast, and piping-hot, flaky scones. Sandwiches of unknown nature, mysteriously flavoured and quite delectable, and that very special gingerbread. Angel cake, that melted...

Can you taste it Bruce? Can you taste the filth, the dirt, the oily blackness of that fossil fuel in our mouth as you choke and gag and spit it out? Do you still hear...

We may live without poetry, music, and art;We may live without conscience, and live without heart;We may live without friends; we may live without books;But civilized man cannot live without cooks.He may live without books,—what...

A woman eats to feed her pussy.” Meaning: Anything we do to excess is in compensation for not getting a minimum amount of sexual gratification.

Dinner was a riot, but the food was bland, so I doused it with pepper spray. The chef wanted to protest, but he didn’t, because I had the pepper spray.

Birthday Soup is good to eat, but not as good as Birthday Cake.

The trouble with eating Italian is that 5 or 6 days later, you’re hungry again.

Food is more than just food. It’s a means to an end, a means to getting people together.

There is absolutely no substitute for the best. Good food cannot be made of inferior ingredients masked with high flavor. It is true thrift to use the best ingredients available and to waste nothing.

Incidentally, although the Cistercians did much to improve the quality of sheep, the animal remained much smaller than its modern descendants; as late as the early eighteenth century a sheep wasn’t much bulkier than a...

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

And what the hell does that even mean? Why would you serve food for thoughgs, and what kind of food? If you serve spinach, do you get healthy thoughts? If it’s ice cream and candy,...

I eat fog soup (out of a can). You don’t think I make it fresh, do you? You don’t need a spoon or straw to enjoy it—you need a pipe to inhale it.

If zombies eat brains, then they’d love me, because who doesn’t like a buffet?

I think the most heavenly food is fluffy white clouds.