wrong” in an email, and Nate will never contact her again. She doesn’t keep track of which side is winning.

most psychologists/philosophers we’ve learned about have experienced severe depressions, attempted suicide, were considered ‘freaks’ or ‘insane’ by their peers, locked themselves in their rooms, felt socially isolated, were either celibate or extremely promiscuous, and rarely...

shrimp and green peppers are shriveling in my refrigerator

i had a dream that there were these huge indoor swimming pools called ‘lobbies’ that poor people used to do mass amounts of laundry

For about four years, I’ve been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates...

i wish cats could float around your head

i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good

my cat is always looking at me like i am forgetting something crucial and he depends on it

i could never be a sports writer, unless my assignment was to write ‘sports sports sports sports sports’ for three pages

Feel completely unable to do anything. Try to picture your life in five years. It really seems like you will be dead.

i want to pull very long, multi-colored strings out of my brain and place them next to a bowl of doritos at a party

i want to go to the gymand pretend the weight machines are drumsand play the longest drum solo on them