I make myself pizza if it comes down to that drastic measurement.

I should open up a dry cleaners/pizza parlor. Extra Stain Sauce will be free, but removing it out of your clothes will cost you.

I don’t care if you’re doing haute cuisine or burgers and pizza, just do it right.

Now, leave.” All three boys slumped forward. Percy fell face-first into his pizza. “Percy!” Annabeth grabbed him.

Where is the pizza I ordered 33 minutes ago? I specifically called for pizza to be delivered. The pizza’s missing, and so is the delivery guy. I hope nobody finds his body in the woods,...

Pepperonis are like edible polkadots. I made you a pizza dress, but I’m ashamed to admit I burned it. I’m afraid you’ll have to dance naked.

I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.

Qui n’a plus qu’un moment a vivreN’a plus rien a dissimuler

If love tasted like pork, and you were allergic to Francis Bacon, could I be your Shakespeare? We could make love on a pizza and make much ado about nothing, everything, anything, something.

Pizza is circular. So is an hour. I’ll take two slices—to go.

Cats are like mushrooms, only you’ll rarely ever hear me scream, “Get off my pizza!” to a pack of mushrooms.

I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exactly like a bull’s eye. But I’m not a fighter—I’m a lover. That’s why I’m joining the military. I figure after...

Good people eat all their veggies and all the fruits, but they still have good grades. I call this, Freakonomics.”-Adam Pazandak

With the rising cost of food, either the portions get smaller, or the quality gets inferior. So, for example, pizza that used to taste like cardboard now tastes like carpet. Unvacuumed carpet, because I asked...

Make pizza, not war. No matter how you slice it, that’s wise.

Seeing that the pizza slice came to a point, I picked it up and tried to stab my attacker with it. When you’re in love, you’ll do whatever is necessary to protect that person from...

I don’t really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It’s the perfect combination.

My password is meatlover. My profile picture is a pizza. My love for you is real, like an invisible and inaudible mime parade.

My love is greater than a cheese grater, and was instrumental in the creation of the pizza industry. And by instrumental I mean an acoustic guitar.

If there are seven people present, myself included, and there is one pizza that’s cut into eight slices, then everyone should get one slice—except for me, who should get two slices, because I didn’t pay....

Really?” [Catarina] said when he opened the door. ” Two years and then you come back and don’t even call for two weeks? And then it’s ‘Come over, I need you’? You didn’t even tell...

We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden – a luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

I tried to knock my wife up, but she’d only let me ring the doorbell. And she made me dress up like the pizza delivery boy while I rang.

It’s 4:00 in the afternoon and I’m just now putting on clothes. The life of a writer is as free as the pizza I just had delivered is not.

Everybody likes pizza! It’s a quick and easy clean-up meal.

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

I tell people, “Yeah, I went to Harvard University.” What I don’t tell them is I was only there for five minutes delivering a pizza.

I started to crawl off; then I remembered my leftover pizza, and I peeled off the salami, pepperoni, and anchovies and placed them on the CD tray (whicn no one used these days with flash...

Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.

We should eat pizza ice cream together.” And that’s what love is. It’s this giant mound of pizza-flavored ice cream and delusion

God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it.

We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us.

You called me and said you were home and wanted to go out for a pizza.””I did? What time is it?””Time for pizza,” [Catarina] replied.

Neapolitans have always had their fast food. It’s called pizza.

My face is pizza-shaped, and my acne in high school was like pepperoni. Thank God it was carry out and not delivery.

I want to live in a world where the need for pizza belittles that of war.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

But magic is like pizza: even when it’s bad, it’s pretty good.

I’ve always wondered about people who live in their cars. I’ll bet for them ordering a pizza is kind of tricky. Should they have it delivered, or should they pick it up?

Sorry to hear about your Dad.”He shrugged. “He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him.””Heart attack?””He was hit by a Pizza Express truck.

My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around.

Then I did Mystic Pizza, just to do something I wasn’t fat in.