You’re small enough to fit in my pocket.

Focus. She’s Maddie. Your friend. Would you eyeball Keith or Dane’s butt like that? ~ Zach

I had this terrible nightmare; I dreamt I was a politician and they were dragging me off to parliament

Sorry, no. I refuse to join an army which practices human sacrifice and has no adequate pension plan.

Enjolras caught glimpses of a luminous uprising under the dark skirts of the future.

I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.

She was heavier than he expected – women always are.

Wrong amulet!”The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn’t much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawedat the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off;...

Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

Look!” Hawkeye said. Duke looked where Hawkeye was pointing. In one corner, kneeling on the dirt floor with his elbows on his cot, a Bible in front of him, his lips moving slowly, and oblivious...

Author? Author? Did you write these legs?”Yes.”‘Well, I don’t like dem. I don’t like ’em at all at all. I could ha’ writted better legs meself.

Toasting a witch”, St John replied.

Is your name even David?’ I asked as I yanked my panties back on.’Is yours Melanie?’ he inquired, buttoning his jeans.’I asked first,’ I countered, wondering for the umpteenth time why being an idiot came...

Can I fetch you something, madam? A cup of tea?’In the old days she’d have been ‘miss’ and he’d have offered her a cocktail.

Don Pedro – (…)’In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.’Benedick – The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set them in my...

If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards!

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

One of these days, I would doubt the Gardeners a little too much and Zach was going to play handball with my head.

No,” I agreed. “The zombie apocalypse is still a few years off, right?” “That’s up to you to decide. Tell you what, we’ll do it for fun someday when you’re really bored.

Without discussing it with his mother, Anton went up to his teacher, Miss Katballe, and informed her that after seven years he was now quitting school. It was the best day of her life, she...

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I’m going to kill the guy.

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.

You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud

I think this goat must have been fed on old boots,’ Stubble complained as he chewed the last scraps of flesh from the bones littering his stew.

Shame comes in different doses.

Kalist likes to listen to the collective voices swell as more individuals in his colony arrive.

At first I assumed he was a Mexican, but slowly began to realise that a real Mexican probably wouldn’t be wearing a sombrero in a London nightclub. And he’d probably have a real moustache, not...

Who’s he seeing now then?””No idea. They’re like funfair goldfish; no point giving them names, they never last that long.

If asked which words one associated with the Sahara, only the most dedicated surrealist might be expected to offer “whale”.

You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this aspect of my personality.

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.

And as they drifter up their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to...

I’ve always been a monster,’ Scapegrace told her, ‘but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.”You smell terrible.”That’s the smell of evil.”It’s like rancid meat and bad eggs.”Evil,” Scapegrace insisted.

We,Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of the Chiefs of Sakuyu, Lord of Wanda and Tyrant of the Seas, Bachelor of the Arts of Oxford University, being in this the twenty-fourth year of our life, summoned...

Marry, don’t marry,’ Auntie Aya says as we unfold layers of dough to make an apple strudel. Just don’t have your babies unless it’s absolutely necessary.’How do I know if it’s necessary?’She stops and stares...

What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!

To neglect ones own ability to laugh is the greatest form of Blasphemy, for to laugh is to pray.

Do you remember what we just did? Please tell me you remember what we just did.”She briefly toyed with the idea of lying and saying no, just to see the look on his face, but...

Upon my word, sir, your hope is a rather extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are...

Are you done briefing the company yet?We, um… Haven’t gotten through the introductions yet.Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is the mercenary company “Tagon’s Toughs.”Company, this is the time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, who will have become...

I’ll go,” he said.”And that’s safer because?””I’m a guy.””Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?

To be fair, you still look pretty bad.

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

The shades of colours are splendid.

They all behaved as if they were absolutely disgusted by this, and amid the ribbing and hilarity that this elaborate performance of disgust and envy produced they were able to hide their true feelings of...

a great inventor needs a healthy amount of conceit. Mr. Bell and, fellow inventor, Mr. Edison would declare they’d created the moon and the tides between them if they could get away with the claim.

People talk about the joy of running–of the endorphins and reaching a Zen-like clarity of mind. This had never happened to me. Mostly, all I thought about when I ran was how much further I...

Umgangsformen sind Formen, die zunehmend umgangen werden.

If we had more reliable systems of law and governance perhaps our friendship would be shallower.