It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.

But…was he flirting?Hmm.Not sure what I thought of that. A nice office flirt did make the day go faster, but Adam was my boss, not to mention an annoying one, and I was nothing if...

There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don’t exist in Asia.

You gotta want it.

phase two of Operation Fish and CHIPs (Clean House of the Idiot Piranhas)

My face might be a martyrdom, but what would that import, or who should know it, if I smiled?”And she did smile; manifestly freezing the blood of Mr. George Sampson by so doing. For that...

Trust me. You’re a constant riddle with an ever-changing solution.” ~ FBI Special Agent Clive Poole to Maggie Mae Castro

From my novel, “A Twist in Travel:Fate,” “What, you’ve never seen a grown man naked?!

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said “Anybody got an aspiren? I think I’ve got a cold.”

My boyfriend dumped me. My best friend won’t talk to me. My future is in a garbage can. Everything has turned to crap. Can you please just let me be a sullen teenager. just this...

McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me.Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42 PM: Fucking auto correct. VAGINAS! Bushy vaginas put the fear of God in me....

I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we were headed...

It’s easy to have high morals when you’d be safe naked in the middle of San Quentin Prison.

If you absolutely had to have sex with one of the Three Stooges, who would it be?

In all of the possible scenarios Kian had envisioned, encountering a lunatic had not been one of them. It just showed him that he could never be completely prepared.

Well, thank the gods,’ he sighed.’Oh? And what would it be you’re thanking them for?’ Bahzell inquired, and Brandark grinned.’For making roads and letting us find one. Not that I’m complaining, you understand, but this...

I was very sorry to hear about your losses. Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be more frightened of marriage than they are presently....

He pulled out a dagger from … she wasn’t sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy’s thoughts, The Witching Pen)

There is little more I can add short of dissecting the man, or going into intimate details such as the modest proportions and slight southeasterly curvature of his manhood.

He would not object, he said, to accepting a post as a librarian. But as Cecilia was unable to imagine that her father or her brother would feel any marked degree of satisfaction in giving...

I take it that’s a yes?” Taylor asked.

Sorry about your bad luck.

That’s how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they’re looking’ to find poloponies.

Mr Kingsley begins then by exclaiming- ‘O the chicanery, the wholesale fraud, the vile hypocrisy, the conscience-killing tyranny of Rome! We have not far to seek for an evidence of it. There’s Father Newman to...

…as nervous as a bird in a coal mine.

We so need to work on your definition of relaxing.

The demon was turning out to be an unpredictable, feral, bone-and-head-collecting, sexually ravenous happiness battery. She swallowed. All I have to do is plug him in.

Wisdom of the Ages: “Government” Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.

Now, tomorrow Miss Laurie McCrae and me, we have an appointment with a sky pilot who will make it proper for us to travel in double harness.

Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away…Like a cookie for the soul…

Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things.

Prestidigitation? You’ve got to be joking. No one says that.

Lena was going down the list of John’s attributes in her mind, a list I was hoping wasn’t too long. “He could see and hear and smell things I couldn’t.”Link inhaled deeply, then coughed. “Dude,...

whatever you are be a good one

Everyone was going crazy, like they’d just witnessed the birth of Jesus and the invention of electricity at the same time. Jude was a rock star, their savior, and they were paying him homage.

One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.

You know what we have to do?”The Italian nodded. “I know.””You don’t look too happy about it.””Defacing a beautiful building is a crime.””But killing people is not?” Dee asked.”Well, people can always be replaced.

One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the...

I laugh. Yer crazy, I says.I was fine till I met you, he says.

A vine from one tree shot out, tripping Blaise. He and Merewyn rolled to the ground. Varian stood between them and the trees, which shot blast after blast at him. He deflected them, but even...

Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit what else does a man need?

I am grateful for hands to tickle with. Not so grateful for that process in reverse, however.

Jewish vampires: Garlic? As a weapon? No its a spice silly human

The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo… -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They’re like, ‘Who is this guy?’ And I’m like, ‘the end of your industry.

Do you follow the wrestling? Most people think it’s illegal, but you can watch it there. Ruby and Python are on display this evening.

The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I push my hair backward and forward a few times – but I can’t...

He’s dead?’ Vera asked. ‘He’s dead? Johnny’s dead?’He covered the mouthpiece. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Not dead.”Not dead! Not dead!’ she cried, and fell on her knees in the phone nook with an audible thud. ‘O...