I had a dream about you. You were you, but you were many—a multitude of mannequins, each named Manny. And I was me, but I was Dark Jar Tin Zoo, and as such I made...

We’ve got our heads pulled low inside of our hooded sweatshirts and our eyes are shifty. We look exactly like you’d expect someone to look if they were minutes away from committing a major crime.

Music has the power to shake society, especially if the bass is turned way up.

And that beautiful face is going to be clamped between my legs as soon as we get home, don’t you worry.

GET IN” he says, getting in on the driver side. I get in with no questions. Okay. This is a bad movie waiting to happen-I’m getting in a car with a guy I just met...

If you’re thinking about killing someone, don’t. Not don’t kill them, but don’t think about it—just do it already.

The roof was torn off the gym. God’s way of telling the jocks that they’d better remember who’s really charge.

There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.

I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.

I had a dream I was in a dream and then that dream told me I was in someone else’s sock drawer.

You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I’d be shooting myself in the head if I were you.

Everybody must be managed. Queens must be managed. Kings must be managed, for men want managing almost as much as women, and that’s saying a good deal.

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don’t want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That’s why I’m constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.

God created the heavens, while the devil created doubt. Here is a short list of Lucifer’s other notable inventions: matches, the lighter, the flamethrower, and George Burns.

#Twitter: proudly promoting ghastly grammar and silly misspelling since 2006.

Middle school is kind of like Middle-earth. It’s a magical journey filled with elves, dwarves, hobbits, queens, kings, and a few corrupt wizards. Word to the wise: pick your traveling companions well. Ones with the...

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.

Let me get this straight. you want me to go stomping through a graveyard brandishing a bottle of booze to rouse an unrestful spirit so that I can interrogate him?” – Cat to Bones

When you know better, you do better!

If sex were shoes, I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.

Love is so stressful. I just want to wear a toga and be a shepherd. If I looked more like Jesus, I’ll bet I’d get more followers on Twitter.

Fuck I love it when you talk dirty.

She flipped through the pages of her apps, as if Apple made an app for “Escape from a deserted island.

Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball.

I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people…That’s why I don’t like any of them.

Gordon Edgley’s sudden death came as a shock to everyone – not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book,...

I won a gold medal that day. I was a winner. Of course, since I was the only one competing, I was also a loser. It feels terrible coming in last place.

It’s fun telling you tall Texas tales. You always look like a little girl who’s hearing Cinderella for the first time.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

I can’t sell sex for money, but what if I change sex’s name to food? Then can I sell it freely in the street?

Charlotte: “It’s too bad they don’t give out diplomas for what you learn at the mall, because I could graduate with honors in that subject. No really. Since I’ve worked there, I’ve become an expert...

The importance of humor is primarily to puncture fixed ideas—to make us step back and realize that our situation, whatever it may be, is, in the grand scheme of things, always contingent and arbitrary and...

My advice for a person who’s just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms…faster.

whispering wind.” But what are these secrets of the breeze? I don’t know, but I don’t want a gossip to stand downwind of me.

From: Christian GreySubject: &*%$&*&*Date: August 23 2011 11:23To: Anastasia GreyBelieve me when I say there are a great many things he’d like to do to your ass right now. Firing you is not one of...

Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a...

Poor Amy. I could tell she was suffering. Poor Thing. Life was so tough for the rich, beautiful and magical.

I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

You’d have to take your shoes and breeches off to count to twenty-one!

I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears.

I’ve been to the Big House. Not prison, but the Biltmore Estate.

Her sculptured face was as perfect as a painting.

He knew how hot those rumbly-grumbly, gravel-voiced noises made her: hotter than two rats wrestling in a wool sock…only not as scratchy. Or as smelly. Probably less squeaky, too. But she had to be strong....

I’m halfway to being a father. Not 4.5 months out of 9, but , of a mating ritual.

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of “systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister,” which is easier done than said.

We know that there are many animals on this continent not found in the Old World. These must have been carried from here to the ark, and then brought back afterwards. Were the peccary, armadillo,...

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she’d been on. The last...

Here comes Mamma Vauquerr, fair as a starrr; and strung up like a bunch of carrots. Aren’t we suffocating ourselves a wee bit?’ he asked, placing a hand on the top of her corset. ‘A...

Th’ first thing to have in a libry is a shelf.Fr’m time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure.But th’ shelf is th’ main thing.

The boring thing with ‘No sex before marriage’ is that kids will never get to attend their parents’ wedding.