Rage is a big part of courage. So is cou.

as I [Eve] was the only cook in all Christendom at the time, the idea of not coming home to dinner never occurred to Adam… It is true that at times he criticised my cooking,...

I’m thinking of moving my cloning factory to someplace less visible, like in front of a fogged mirror.

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.

When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.So I stopped wearing socks.

My dad used to tell me that laughter was like a cough or a sneeze – the body’s way of trying to expel something. But instead of some phlegm in your throat, or some dust...

To my astonishment I saw him standing at a table with Kitty Jones. It was the Kitty Jones bit that was astonishing. Not the table. Though it was very nicely polished.

Mr. and Mrs. Foster are not my foster parents. Also, they’re not even married to each other. Mr. Foster is married to a different Mrs. Foster, and Mrs. Foster, the first Mrs. Foster, is married...

I continued toward Atlanta with a Merle Haggard C.D. playing on the stereo. They weren’t great hosts, but those guys in The Ted Kaczynski Fan Club had great taste in music. It was all classic...

Dave walked closer to me, his dark eyes combing my every move. “Do you always hold your guitar like that?”I dropped my pick. “Do you always shop at Hot Topic?

Show me a girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and I’ll show you a girl who can’t put her pants on.-Annik Marchand

No,” I replied testily. “I’m pretty sure ‘digital’ is Latin for ‘fingeral,’ so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic anatomy, Dr. Roland.” The Dr. Roland told me that he thought I was...

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed,...

My sense of fashion is unmatched. Also, my socks are unmatched. My feet have grown cold, but my love for you has not.

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.

When I’m in love, I can’t stand anyone.

I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

I often confuse fog and mist. But one is not the other any more than either are either. Let this be a lesson in love.

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend.” – Laney

A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick the bull, trick a bear next, and then by that time all the investors will be playing your game,...

What’s on the inside, beneath that sugar? Is it a bug? Is it a booger?

From behind Lissa, I heard Christian say, “Worst. Timing. Ever.” Adrian studied Lissa and then looked at Christain sprawling on the bed on the far side of the suite. “Huh,” Adrian said, letting himself in....

Can you enter a house uninvited?””No.””Why?””That would be rude.

There’s lots of love in Ocala. Must be something in the water. That’s probably why I have to pee so much.

As many as thirty or as few as ten years later, lying exhausted and still, eyes open in the dark long after the three suns of Rakhat had set, no longer bleeding, past the vomiting,...

A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in the military? If no, why are you acting like a brick?

I am nine fifteen feet tall. I mean nine fifteen time tall. I measure height with my watch.

You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school.””Oh I believe it,” I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker’s combination and tried to get...

Young men speak about the future because they have no past, and old men speak of the past because they have no future.

I’d rather have a horse in a glass, because I’ll be just down the hall if you need me. My affection is fluid, so why won’t you let me love you?

So are my eyes. How do I always get roped into these things?” Avery coughs and pats Rob’s back in sympathy. A poof of dust billows from the contact.

Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.

I’d never name my kid Mark, for fear he’d be a target—a mark.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Honey, he looks slippery as soap.”And then adds, “A girl could lather up in soap like that.

And the old man hugs him back and says, ‘Pinocchio?

If you asked why the post had not come, or why the boat did not sail for England, or why your coffee was cold, or why your boots were not cleaned, or why your window...

I fish better than any fish alive.

Looks like Kelsey wins the award for early riser. And doesn’t she look purtier than a pat of butter meltin’ all over a stack of griddle cakes?

Do you see that out there? The strange, unfamiliar light? It’s called the sun. Let’s go get us a little.

Only a clever human can make a real Joke about virtue, or indeed about anything else; any of them can be trained to talk as if virtue were funny. Among flippant people the joke is...

I am a man of peace [so he told Mother, but it always appeared to me that he was the most belligerent man of peace I had ever encountered]

The ocean is a Turing machine, the sand is its tape; the water reads the marks in the sand and sometimes erases them and sometimes carves new ones with tiny currents that are themselves a...

A unicorn breathes rainbows like a dragon breathes fire. My coffee breathes Jarod Kintz quotes.

A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.

He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins.

It was an odd situation. For a century and a half, men got rid of their own hair, which was perfectly comfortable, and instead covered their heads with something foreign and uncomfortable. Very often it...

The satisfying sound of bone giving way, as well as his outraged cry, made the you-had-it-coming-asshole angles sing.

You seem to know a lot about it,” she said. “And you do subtleties.””Yeah. Like I’ve always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide.””Well, there’s no need to be rude,” protested Sif.