Sexual reproduction and food — humans’ two favorite subjects.

Most humans expressed affection by pressing their lips together, a simple act, so why would anyone feel the need to research the process?

I won’t say that you’re pretty because that dog already did. And I won’t say you’re funny because you have had me laughing since I met you.

A girl’s gotta get her glam on when the world turns its back on her.

I’ve always wanted to be a journalist, but what am I going to do? Write articles about which movie star had the fat sucked from her ass and injected into her face? Which professional athlete...

She wanted to be a normal teenager again, to go to college and spend her nights reading and studying and watching Doctor Who reruns.