Abortion should be listed as a weapon of mass destruction against the voiceless.

Social networking platforms made it unnecessary to know people to know people.

Everyone loves a witch hunt as long as it’s someone else’s witch being hunted.

A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as ‘an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed.

Your Twitter Profile is your business card.

I’m much nicer in person than on Twitter.

What is more likely? That tomorrow will be called ‘Thursday’ or that Maxine Waters will play the race card in her ethics investigation?

I got my dad a great father’s Day present. He called to say: ‘Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.

Good books make you ask questions. Bad readers want everything answered.

I’m off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

Having instant feedback on twitter to research material I’m considering is an enormous help.

Now we have so many methods of communication: Land phone, Fax, Pager, Mobile phone, Texting, E mail, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…and the list keeps growing…….But Communication itself has not improved!

Be wise today so you don’t cry tomorrow.

The American people are fed up…with political posturing.’ True, but also an example of political posturing.

The hallmark of an authoritarian idiot is yelling TERRORIST-LOVER! at anyone questioning the definition of Terrorist.

The reason it’s hard for me to tweet is I don’t want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing.

Thou shalt not use the 140 characters limit as an excuse for bad grammar and/or incorrect spelling.

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

[T]he anti-vitriol vitriol is getting ugly.

We’re all just the product of a vaginal creampie

The internet is great because of Netiquette we create. Participate and reciprocate.

If only people tried to connect with the heart the way they do with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Facebook is big. Bigger than Justin Bieber or Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter following. Hell, it’s even bigger than obesity and possibly just as lethal!

Most people give up their pursuit of genius early on and spend their lives desperately seeking it in others.

To leave a man’s ego bigger, retweet him. To leave his faculty of reasoning better, challenge his tweet.

Can’t wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it’s taking to VOTE.

Reusability is key in reducing bugs and coding quickly. The more I use a piece of code, the more confident and familiar I become with it, which in turn significantly speeds up my development time.

Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.

Becoming a lake has put a lot of things in perspective for me.

Incestuous, homogeneous fiefdoms of self-proclaimed expertise are always rank-closing and mutually self-defending, above all else.

I think there needs to be a meeting to set an agenda for more meetings about meetings.

Your working assumption, when you meet a homophobe, should be that they are gay.

Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!

A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

Learn to trust your instincts. Only something dead goes with the tide. Only something living can go against it.

Apparently our portmanteau is trending on Twitter.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I didn’t even know what a portmanteau was before Jukebox Hero. It’s a mashup of our names, like Brangelina or Robsten. No...

A conscience without regrets ~ to live life without having to say you’re sorry.

Because of racism, he can’t govern effectively’ is not a great argument for re-election.

Beyond all the other reasons not to do it, free speech assaults always backfire: they transform bigots into martyrs.

Opportunities are born by learning!

Thou shalt not tweet to be retweeted.

How do god fit him ass in them jeans when he is, in fact, Everywhere

The way that people show me love on Twitter? I don’t know man. It’s amazing.

What’s cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn’t be able to joke about in stand-up.

It is proper netiquette to refrain from using all capital letters in internet correspondence.

Twitter! It’s like being stalked by committee!

She went in the pool,” she finished for me. “Ohmigod. She was killed while tweeting. It was Twittercide!

Some are born brilliant, some have brilliance thrust upon them — and others cower in the dark crying, “It burns! It burns!

To a man with an internet connection, every thought and every movement sounds like a tweet or status update.

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I’m post-tweeting today. I’ll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.