What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.

A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server, and I achieved invisibility by never showing up for work. My boss ended up firing me, probably over petty...

Work is a vehicle with which man chases some fleeting destination called a full tummy.

The employment equation used to be built on a foundation of two-way loyalty. The world has changed. Today, successful employment relationships can only be sustained on a foundation of two-way honesty

Some people are unemployed because they lack the minimum required education. Others are unemployed because they lack the minimum required obedience.

Able hands’ are more favorable to business than ‘adorable hearts’.

Absolute freedom is an illusion. For while an employed man might be free from starvation, he is a slave to his employer’s financial aspirations, and, working-hours.

I cannot fathom why any employee would want to do that.

The ability to lick their own asses, does this make cats their own bosses?

Somebody is born. Somebody goes to school. Somebody learns to conform. Somebody types a CV. Somebody gets a job. Somebody follows orders. Somebody gets a golden watch. And then, eventually, Somebody dies. And, a Nobody...

Which came first: the change-ready company or the change-ready employee?

Belonging to the working class is the economy’s punishment for those who did what they were told to do in class.

Providing employment is the best form of social service, as it serves you, others, your country, your world – the entire society.

Employment frees man from the nightmare of unemployment, while it chains him to his employer’s dream.

Job tip: If you were the employer, what kind of person would you most desire as an employee? Be that person.

I got tapped for the job position. As soon as I felt it on my shoulder, I turned around and my boss told me.

Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work.

The code-of-ethics playlist:o Treat your colleagues, family, and friends with respect, dignity, fairness, and courtesy.o Pride yourself in the diversity of your experience and know that you have a lot to offer.o Commit to creating...

School is a factory where the raw material called student is turned into a product called employee.

Children imitate their parents, employees their managers.

Starving whilst schooled is like a man’s finding out that his wife is on her periods … a few seconds after he took Viagra.

The PC principle is to always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers.

I hate when a manager falls in love with an employee. Well, if she won’t date me, I just won’t put her on the schedule. If she won’t give me the time of day, I...

The definition of ‘Employment’ by an employer, and, that by an employee, are seldom the same.

She was a model employee. She was an employee of the month.

Education inspires the educated to think for themselves. Schooled programs the schooled to work for others.

If you fulfill the wishes of your employees, the employees will fulfill your visions.

Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others’ clothes on.

Always treat your employees as you would like to be treated, but never cross the line by making a friend of an employee.

You have to treat them like a regular employee and pay them by the job or by the hour.

An ‘Employee of the Month’ is a titled given to someone who best helped someone else actualize their dream—in that particular month.

Technical expertise is only a tiny portion of what it takes to be a successful employee and, particularly, a successful leader.

A celebrity’s body is an advertiser’s canvas.

Resources are hired to give results, not reasons.

If working-hours were natural, then employed men would only get erections between 5 p.m. and 9 a.m. … during the week.

I don’t believe in process. In fact, when I interview a potential employee and he or she says that ‘it’s all about the process,’ I see that as a bad sign. The problem is that...

I’m as efficient as a fish ant, I’m as mythical as a productive government employee, and I’m the kind of lover your mother would approve of. Ask her—she’ll tell you how good I am in...

*Employee* is a label given to a creature that could not hold on to its dream.

If we were to find that an employee did that, they would be fired and we would most likely turn them over to authorities for prosecution. We’re doing our best, and we’re going to do...

You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lottery is your only chance to realizing financial freedom.

My men are my money.

Most employees don’t really want to be highly-paid; they just want to earn more than their peers, and, more importantly, more than their neighbours.

Assistant” around your asshole.

A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee’s dream on hold.

The vacancy in your heart doesn’t connotes that nobody is seeking for the job of servicing your feelings, but because the employee must first have all the necessary credentials needed for the job.

Most self-employed people remain slaves to the employed’s working hours.

Remember, before they promoted to the chair of CEO, they were the best employees of their companies.

A diploma is a piece of paper that is used to acquire another piece of paper: an employment contract.

As for your salary, how much you make is really up to you.” I love a business model where the employee pays the employer.

A prisoner is imprisoned by the crime that he has committed. A jailer is imprisoned — in the very same prison — by the employment contract that he has signed.