What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.

Resources are hired to give results, not reasons.

If working-hours were natural, then employed men would only get erections between 5 p.m. and 9 a.m. … during the week.

I don’t believe in process. In fact, when I interview a potential employee and he or she says that ‘it’s all about the process,’ I see that as a bad sign. The problem is that...

I’m as efficient as a fish ant, I’m as mythical as a productive government employee, and I’m the kind of lover your mother would approve of. Ask her—she’ll tell you how good I am in...

*Employee* is a label given to a creature that could not hold on to its dream.

If we were to find that an employee did that, they would be fired and we would most likely turn them over to authorities for prosecution. We’re doing our best, and we’re going to do...

You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lottery is your only chance to realizing financial freedom.

My men are my money.

Most employees don’t really want to be highly-paid; they just want to earn more than their peers, and, more importantly, more than their neighbours.

Assistant” around your asshole.

A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee’s dream on hold.

The vacancy in your heart doesn’t connotes that nobody is seeking for the job of servicing your feelings, but because the employee must first have all the necessary credentials needed for the job.

Most self-employed people remain slaves to the employed’s working hours.

Remember, before they promoted to the chair of CEO, they were the best employees of their companies.

A diploma is a piece of paper that is used to acquire another piece of paper: an employment contract.

As for your salary, how much you make is really up to you.” I love a business model where the employee pays the employer.

A prisoner is imprisoned by the crime that he has committed. A jailer is imprisoned — in the very same prison — by the employment contract that he has signed.

The difference between an Employer and an Employee is that as payday approaches, the Employee is full of hope and expectation while the Employer is full of fear and trepidation

Inviting someone to work for pay is a sacred privilege and a trust. It must be regarded a high honor to be able to give another person work, and neither employer nor employee should abuse...

The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn’t given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.

The best way to be happiest everyday in a workplace is to adapt to the attitude and behavior of the workforce who have got the longest stay, as their character is the proven reflection of...

Life ups the self-esteem of a low-paid man by giving him things that the high-paid man that he envies cannot buy (intellect, looks, sex appeal, etc.).

A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are part-time unemployees.

Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.

No, … I did that as an employee of the label. I got, like, SAG [Screen Actor’s Guild] wages, which are like one hundred and something dollars every couple weeks.

We were adamantly opposed to a payroll tax or an employee tax, but this is very different because it is tied to the actual cost of the pool.

A promotion is an illusionary solution out of an indebted employee’s pit of debt.

People are only human. They let there emotions get the best of them sometimes. It’s a weakness.Some can’t handle rejection without reaction So when you say “No” it burns some people who are in high...

A job interview is a competition won by those who are qualified the most, and, those who are willing to be payed the least.

Oh, this time I was doing the gossiping. You should really dismiss me for disloyalty, not to mention the disrespect I’m showing right now by talking to you like this.

Old Age homes are civilization’s dumpsites for human beings who it cannot exploit further.

Whatever you don’t outsource, you’d better be great at, … Before we’re through, you might be the only ’employee’ left in your business.

12% of employees study further to learn more. 88% of employees study further to earn more.

Working overtime is an underpaid man’s salvation.

Joe Paterno is our most senior employee.

Employment is the exploitation of the employer’s courage, and, the employed’s fear of failure.

The lunchmeat fell on the floor, and I didn’t know what to do, so I wiped it off on the bottom of my shoe and served it to my boss. Ah, but that’s life, no?

Schooling is a manufacturing process whereby the raw material called curious boys is turned into products called obedient men.

If you define yourself by the title of coach or boss, you’ll never earn real trust from your players or employees.

Once employed, the employed’s friends are reduced to creatures that he only sees when he has a new problem, or, something new to show off.

A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server, and I achieved invisibility by never showing up for work. My boss ended up firing me, probably over petty...

Work is a vehicle with which man chases some fleeting destination called a full tummy.

The employment equation used to be built on a foundation of two-way loyalty. The world has changed. Today, successful employment relationships can only be sustained on a foundation of two-way honesty

Some people are unemployed because they lack the minimum required education. Others are unemployed because they lack the minimum required obedience.

Able hands’ are more favorable to business than ‘adorable hearts’.

Absolute freedom is an illusion. For while an employed man might be free from starvation, he is a slave to his employer’s financial aspirations, and, working-hours.

I cannot fathom why any employee would want to do that.

The ability to lick their own asses, does this make cats their own bosses?

Somebody is born. Somebody goes to school. Somebody learns to conform. Somebody types a CV. Somebody gets a job. Somebody follows orders. Somebody gets a golden watch. And then, eventually, Somebody dies. And, a Nobody...