Yeah you can have a word,” said Harry savagely. “Good-bye.

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship—he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still...

She would walk through the kitchen at any hour, whenever she was hungry, and put her fork in the pots and eat a little of everything without placing anything on a plate, standing in front...

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

There is not a man of common sense who would not chuse to be agreeable in company; and yet, strange as it may seem, very few are

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was...

Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang.

Who values the past lives sentimentally.Who optimizes the present grabs opportunity.Who balances time creates harmony. Who disturbs harmony leads complexity.Who solves complexity opens continuity.

Jesus.

My name is Mr Bread.” He began writing his name neatly on the board. “But you can call me Peter.”Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.”Pita Bread!” proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the...

You judge very properly, and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are...

Really?””No. I’m being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember.””Irony’s cleverer, so you’re probably being sarcastic.

The moving finger writes, and having written moves on. Nor all thy piety nor all thy wit, can cancel half a line of it.

Hello, I am Oscar Wilde

I wouldn’t be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country.

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.

Erm…I don’t know maybe for kissing me and tasting so damn delicious, maybe for holding my hand in public, maybe for looking far too hot in that sexy, snug tee when you should just be...

You turned an attack into a promise. The wisest of men know that to render an insult powerless, you often need only to embrace it.

He remembered having said to his uncle (with a solemn dogmatism better befitting a much younger man): “Surely it is possible to love with the head as well as the heart.” Mr. Delagardie had replied,...

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account…

Witty sayings don’t grow on bumpers the way babies do. I was raised by a single rush hour.

some call their mistake a discovery;to others, their mistake is a misfortune and to most people a mistake is a deviation from the acceptable. A mistake is a mistake depending on what we think it...

preemptive strike n.A blow or punch delivered by military aircraft to a target who is suspected of being adverse to one’s plot for world domination.

The loudest wit I e’er was deafened with.

I didn’t cross the line, you drew it in after I traversed it.

Think of what makes you smile; makes you happy… and do more of that shit.

(About a cookbook…)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor…but they ends up Tarts.

If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.

Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand.

Yes, I’m shallow, I don’t mind admitting it. Perhaps I should admit that there’s no end to the depths of my shallowness.

Wit defies deathbut death defines wit

After dinner, at five o’clock, the crew distributed folding canvas cots to the passengers, and each person opened his bed wherever he could find room, arranged it with the bedclothes from his petate, and set...

Ack!” I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that’s me.

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said ‘Faith is believing what youknow ain’t so’.

The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication – this “nerdification,” to put it bluntly – is in the growing disappearance of sarcasm, as mechanic minds take insults a bit too literally.

We sensible often resist intrusive love and its chaos practically, employing measures to prevent the former for fear of the latter. But for all our wit and work, that desperation for control also prevents the...

Half is better than none unless it be of a wit.

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are”.

I shall always inspire many hearts in timeless moments.

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

I’m not a serpent, Father. I’m a crow.

Well, well,” said he, “do not make yourself unhappy. If you are a good girl for the next ten years, I will take you to a review at the end of them.

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly...

The moving finger writes; and having writ, moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.

Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it’s too crowded.

I am not gamesome: I do lack some partof that quick spirit that is in Antony.

Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.