favorite” and thus had me at the first entirely inappropriate tweet flung my way.

Thou shalt not use the 140 characters limit as an excuse for bad grammar and/or incorrect spelling.

Ok.. So are you goin’a let him bluetube your tweeter?

Thou shalt not tweet to be retweeted.

People despite their struggles, flaws and faults are honestly the most beautiful creatures. We are wonderfully-broken pieces of art.

Thou shalt not unfollow someone, merely because they stopped following you.

Use Discretion: It is proper netiquette to use discretion, best behavior, in all online activity.

Thou shalt not follow someone, merely because they are following you.

It’s good netiquette to avoid information that offends or challenge errors when confronted.

Thou shalt not think that thou be a leader, merely because thee be having more than 0 followers.

My life story is too long to tweet. Too long by two characters—and by characters I don’t mean Dora J. Arod and Dark Jar Tin Zoo.

To leave a man’s ego bigger, retweet him. To leave his faculty of reasoning better, challenge his tweet.

We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling.

How do god fit him ass in them jeans when he is, in fact, Everywhere

I’m not a treasure hunter—I’m a treasure farmer. I grow quotes, and each person like Tim Fargo who tweets me is a thrill no shipwreck can match.

For any creative thought to be contagious, it must first be worthy of a sneeze.

The reason it’s hard for me to tweet is I don’t want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing.

Jarod Kintz gets so many retweets, he’s like Katniss Everdeen with tourettes in a forest full of Mockingjays.

Goodreads.com is actually about fiction not dreading goo. But I have a profile there, anyway…