I don’t want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following...

… As could the sarcasm in her voice. “yes, she’s bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I’d avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.

I suppose that I found out two more constituents of the eternal engine: folly and curiosity.

It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both...

I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work.

I used to be a mddle-of-the-road kid, but now with my freaky looks I’m definately an outsider. Hooray.

As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves.

worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.

The standard clauses of the American dream only included two weeks of vacation a year.

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, ‘Jesus, kid, you’re almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what’s your theory?

The students adore your father,’ a perfumed woman said to me. ‘Aren’t you lucky to live with such a charming man!”He’s even more charming at home,’ Mom said. ‘Isn’t he, Bea? He rides a unicycle...

At least that left hope for him. Except “Beauty and the Geek” wasn’t exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.

Sorry, one night stands don’t stack up as credentials for tending bar.

Anyone that says his mind will be probably regarded a fool, but the true artist is not moved by the comments about the looks of his painting or remarks that are dreadfully sarcastic, but hearken...

What I really needed wasn’t a dose of school spirit; it was a glass of water, an aspirin the size of my fist, and the answers to the history exam that I hadn’t studied for...

As if I’d had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she’d let me out of her sight.

If you didn’t have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn’t be any fire in your life at all.

Mathilde returned and strolled past the drawing-room windows; she saw him busily engaged in describing to Madame de Fervaques the old ruined castles that crown the steep banks of the Rhine and give them so...

Using love as a bait and replacing respect with ego-pampering makes you a skillful social animal; unfortunately, all kinds of animals are less evolved than human beings. Would you like to evolve?

Ryn looks sideways at me and raises an eyebrow,”It’s big enough for two.”-“You’re joking right?Why don’t you pretend to be a gentleman and give me the bed?”He laughs. “Now you’re joking.”-“Of course.” I sigh. “I...

Natürlich mochte ich die, die nicht ich waren, nur selten.

Excuse me if I feel skeptical,’ I said. ‘Coach’s foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?

the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. “Is that a coatrack?”Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. “If you’d been...

I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that’s what they do when I’m not around.

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.

She’d asked him what it was like to be in there, doing nothing but then being woken up to speak to somebody you couldn’t see. He’d said that it was like being woken from a...

Valkyrie smiled patiently. “I like how you do your make-up. Do you use a brush, or just dip your head in the bucket?

In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn’t sound like much for an area three times the size of France itself but given that they’d...

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.

I nee to reason for a plague, … As far as I know no comets or eclipses have been forecast, and our sins are not great enough for God to be concerned with us.

I thought you were a drunk.””A drunk?””Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot ofnoise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else...

Two thousand years and I’ve never met anyone so stubborn.

Lord Ironman, please play tonsil hockey with me, just this one time. There, does that make you happy?

Vampires were always either trying to kill me, or own me. God I hated being popular.

I wasn’t entirely sure, but a polite John Pritkin might be a sign of the apocalypse.

Because we don’t really sparkle.

You gonna count ’em out now? Because I’ll save you the trouble. There’s two.

It feels good to shoot your veins full of heroin too, but that doesn’t mean you should go out and become a junkie.

Well, bloody noses.” I hug his coat tighter. “Those are definitely hot.

Normally ghosts didn’t scare him. (Assuming, of course, Gaea hadn’t encased them in shells of stone and turned them into killing machines. That had been a new one for him.)

Uh, yeah – how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me.

His voice, the very sound of rolling eyes.

You must have been going very fast.””I was, until I hit the fence.

If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited.

He’s big as a fuckin’ house so I imagine it might be a bit of a problem.” The New Jersey accent that was still there after more than fifteen years in the south, resurfaced in...

I travel. Shit happens.

Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.

The creative process is a love story that never ends. The ideas are like suitors competing for your attention. You may have relationships, with multiple ideas, at once. You may devote yourself completely to one...

I’ll tell him this isn’t just a job to me, it’s a career, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I’ll surely never take for granted. Will I work nights, weekends, and holidays? There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted...