Yeah, and we could fly in on dragons and release a cloud of sugar plum fairies to tiptoe in an get the watch.

It was Nathaniel’s boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human.

Relationships are so much like the United States – they only really thrive when faced with an external threat.

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

Oh, I see. As long as you didn’t kill her, kill her, then that’s okay.

I’m as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night.

Oh,” she said, in a very different way. “Well. Thanks for my part in the compliment. Naturally I’d love to be watched and controlled, but I think I may be washing my hair that day.

Neither apology nor kindness can demolish the wall of hatred when built, by choice, on a base of self-centeredness & from the bricks of ego!

Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. “Yeah, here’s a rare grocery...

I’ve heard that the best way to help poor people is to make sure you don’t become one of them

The words, I love you, are empty without clarification. Women prefer to be told what they can expect. It is measurable like a Weight Watcher’s diet, with extra points at the end of the week...

Your name?”The movements of the man’s mouth didn’t quite match what he was saying, so seeing him speak was a bit like watching a badly dubbed film.”Alex Gardiner,” Alex said. “Your real name?””I just told...

Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair.

Don’t stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?””Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are.””What about mummies? Do they only hang...

Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine. Its painstaking eroticism left her uninterested–as indeed it did most of Mr. Levine’s...

Eragon went to see the dragon for the first time since it had spoken to him. He approached apprehensively, aware now that it was an equal.”Eragon.””Is that all you can say?” he snapped.”Yes.”His eyes widened...

Kishan stretched out his hand and touched and earring lightly. His rakish pirate about-to-make-off-with-your-woman-and-what-do-you-think-you’re-gonna-do-about-it look melted away to a soft smile that turned up the corner of his mouth.

I’m almost finished,” said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.”I never doubted you for a moment,” said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. “I actually doubted...

Pretending will only make us anxious and encourages us to make friends with a reason, then depending with lies, thereafter we will make love with stupidity

Thomas: Is it [my brain] fixed?Brenda: It worked, judging from the fact that you’re not trying to kill us anymore…

I can cook a mean hamburger. I can also cook a rude hamburger, and probably a sarcastic one, depending on how snarky the patty gets.

Are you always a smartass?’Nope. Sometimes I’m asleep.

Murderous thieves make their home here.” She failed to keep the tremor from her voice. “Absolutely,” Jonas replied.”Dangerous animals too.””Without a doubt.”She slanted a look toward him. “Perfect place for you.”He repressed a snort. “Oh,...

That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife.

A psycho murderer who lubed. How considerate.

Where did you live before you came here?” I asked. “The moon,” he said smoothly. “We left because the place had no atmosphere.

Right. That’s twenty-two fifty.””Twenty-two fifty?” We can’t hide our exasperation.”Well, yeah – this is a classy joint, you know.””That’s obvious – the service is incredible.

My gun turned back into a pumpkin.

Oh no. Oh God. I couldn’t possibly be so stupid.””Don’t limit yourself. You can be anything you wish.

What happened? Did the prettiest little princess miss her carriage home?

Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)

Satire must not be a kind of superfluous ill will, but ill will from a higher point of view. Ridiculous man, divine God. Or else, hatred against the bogged-down vileness of average man as against...

Well, child? Aren’t you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature?I don’t think I shall bother, madam, seeing as you are making such a good job of it yourself!

Arrest her! She’s the one who killed Zak!”Why I outta… Wait Zak? I thought we all agreed he was Captain Asshole? Oh, no… Guess that was just me.

I don’t want tea,” said Clary, with muffled force. “I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them.””Unfortunately,”...

We had and incident. I took care of it.””Really.” Jace’s voice dripped sarcasm. “Do you even know how to use that knife, Clarissa? Without poking a hole in yourself or any innocent bystanders?

I’M NOT BAKING ANYTHING, YOU MORON! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?”My God, you have surrounded me with idiots.

Death’s got an Invisibility Cloak?” Harry interrupted again.”So he can sneak up on people,” said Ron. “Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking…

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill.

I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. “I’m sorry, I must’ve missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.” from Clean Sweep

The hand of God.

He’s crazy,” Bruno said, twirling a finger in circles around the side of his head and whistling to indicate just how crazy he thought he was. “He went up to a cat on the street...

That’s Doctor Smart-ass. I didn’t spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister.

The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie.

his mind’s like Alcatraz. once something’s in, it never gets out

You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.

Sascha nodded. “Want me to wait?””Do I want my mate to wait in a deserted forest while a dangerous Psy fugitive remains on the loose? Wait, let me think.””Sarcasm does not suit you.” She kissed...

Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say.

How much do you remember?