Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he’ll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the...

Hi! I’m Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!

You his brother?”Yes, damn it!’ I burst out. “And all I want is to get my hands on whoever did this to him!”Funny,’ said a dick dryly, ‘but so do we.’I didn’t like him much...

They’re absolutely wild. Sometimes they have an extra biscuit at tea.

Should I pull on a shirt?” he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. “No.” He’d be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn’t going...

come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire.” Oberon

Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.

I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn’t care.

What am I doing here? The Southern Star has vanished, a Cataclyst is calling the moon out of time at the mythical Great Barrier, and you’re asking what I’m doing here? Are you serious?

What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”-Venom and Elena

Please do not think that I am accusing socialists of insincerity or that I wish to hold them up to scorn either as bad democrats or as unprincipled schemers and opportunists. I fully believe, in...

Marriage is always something of a compromise, as I’m sure you’re now aware. Any long-term relationship is – and one does have to see it in the long term, Charles. No, I expect your mother...

I also don’t turn into a bat or sparkle in the sun. Hollywood’s portrayal of vampires is almost as accurate as its portrayal of prostitution in Pretty Woman.

For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscriptions in their own country, but in foreign lands there dwells also an unwritten memorial of them,...

We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.

Please, don’t put us through that torture.

I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she’d noticed that every time I was asked...

A woman’s weapon is her tongue.

I don’t do what I’m told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

I’m sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.

When Rose takes to screaming, she starts loud, continues loud, and ends loud. Rose has a very good ear and always screams on the same note. I’d tested her before I burnt the library, and...

Unlike your mother,” she said, exhaling, “I told the culprit immediately. I thought at the very least he would visit me in the hospital after it was all done, but the son of a bitch...

I’d tell you nice try, but… it wasn’t.

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt?

She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance – a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well−informed mind is to come with an inability of administering...

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel.” -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow

My whole day has been a unicorn ride through a field of rainbows

Thinking I’m a moron gives people something to feel smug about,” Charles Wallace said. “Why should I disillusion them?

You seem to know a lot about it,” she said. “And you do subtleties.””Yeah. Like I’ve always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide.””Well, there’s no need to be rude,” protested Sif.

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful boutique, the name filled me with dread.

Just so you know, I get incredibly bored quite easily and you will be forced to be my source of entertainment. You’ll kind of be like my own personal jester.”I flipped him off.”Well that wasn’t...

Well, it just figures,” Younger told him, like a man explaining his religion.

I couldn’t help thinkin’ if she was as far out o’ town as she was out o’ tune, she wouldn’t get back in a day.

Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it.

You know the difference between right and wrong,’ he repeated finally. ‘Man, why did you need Initiation—by the Golden Dawn, or by anybody else? You are a genius, a sage, a giant among men. You...

If you wish, I shall go personally to your City and knock together the heads of Perlith and Galooney.

He sure told you off, huh, Icy?” ~Darcy

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

When you succumb to cynicism, darkness, pessimism and sarcasm you are amplifying imbalance and negativity.

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.

Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?”You got me,’ she said. ‘He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.”Funny,’ Venkat said. ‘Be a smart-ass...

Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

So what were your favorite subjects in school?””School?” He leaned back in his chair as though he needed the extra space to think about it. “Probably math. It always made sense. Unlike English, economics, and...

Yeah, I was just curious. I concentrated on my footsteps.Yeah, well, next time you think about stepping into rock concerts you might want to bring a bodyguard.I stopped and turned around. I brought my hands...

Luchesi cannot tell amontillado from a sherry

I’m trained in sarcasm. It’s like karate, only the sting lasts longer.

Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.””You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect...

I didn’t intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that’s just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days.

Why do you haunt me? You, like a tattoo on my tongue, like the bay leaf at the bottom of every pan. You who sprawled out beside me and sang my horoscope to a Schubert...