I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.

Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.

L.A., it’s nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.

I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos.

Thank you… preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.

If you’re a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don’t have a choice.

Thank you… Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone.

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

I sing in the car if I’m in LA, because you’re like soundproofed.

I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, ‘I’m just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make...

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

The running across the field thing, that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.

Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot...

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.

I don’t like to kick people when they’re down. I like to kick people when they’re up.

Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.

If people want to see you, they’ll find you. If they don’t see you on TV, they’ll find you on the Internet.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

Thank you… fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be...

I just really don’t like being the center of attention that much. It’s kind of ironic.

I like doing energetic things.

I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the – it’s like your best friend for the...

In New York, there are so many potholes, they’re like craters on the moon. That’s another traffic thing.

Sandler’s always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I’m really rooting for the Red Sox.

You can’t reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at ‘Late Night,’ we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, ‘I see you behind a glass desk.’ I don’t....

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

I like being absurd. Being silly.

My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a ThinkPad.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things – so we had a surrogate.

Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world’s lamest Ghostbuster. I ain’t afraid of no leaves.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to...

‘Have fun’ is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it.

I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff’s going to be dragged up and, you know, I’ll be like, ‘Wait, what?’

Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.

Thank you… motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I’m waving hello to a wall robot.

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: ‘We think we’re important enough to charge money for our garbage.’

Ben: You know what’s really great about baseball? Lindsey Meeks: Hmm? Ben: You can’t fake it. You know, anything else in life you don’t have to be great in – business, music, art – I...

Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don’t worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.

I want to be a dad. That’s floating to the top of my list. I think it’s such an important thing. I’m at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, ‘Is it...

There’s always going to be someone out there… who doesn’t believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you’re not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore,...

I’d do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It.’

There couldn’t have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It’s beyond baseball. It’s rooting for your family.

Thank you, people who say ‘Wow, you’re really photogenic,’ for not saying what you really mean: ‘Wow, you’re really ugly in person.’

I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets… then I got to ‘Saturday Night Live’ where my boss has unbelievable...

Troy: Why do we inflict this on ourselves? Ben: Why? I’ll tell you why, ’cause the Red Sox never let you down. Troy: Huh? Ben: That’s right. I mean – why? Because they haven’t won...