She was every inch the skeletal goddess that had been promised by the bones of her feet.

Please, touch me, I pray.

I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air

Well, that explains why we jumped into bed with each other so quickly. We were both hornier than a bucket of desert toads.

Gomst’s mouth framed a ‘no’, but every other muscle in him said ‘yes’. You’d think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all.

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you’re doing?””Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband’s spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth.””Oh, you say that when you don’t...

The church has never been asked to explain anything, our speciality, along with ballistics, has always been the neutralisation of the overly curious mind through faith.

He felt like a baked bean in a can, soaring through the air on a downward turn of a parabolic arc…

Linda’s presentation of the ‘facts’ had been so gruesome that the children left Alconleigh howling dismally, their nerves permanently impaired, their future chances of a sane and happy sex life much reduced.

A VIP area is nothing without not-so-important people.

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

That was when I realised a sad but incontrovertible truth: I was a geek, and there was no getting around it. I could dress in Kate’s clothes, but it didn’t make me Kate.

I wish I was a tree so I could reproduce asexually.

…some men say get them crying on your shoulder and you have the sheets half-unfurled already. Other fellows say get them laughing. I say get them drunk. I ordered up more Riesling…

Listen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve got them, and I’m not ashamed to use ’em.

To talk well and eloquently is a very great art, but that an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.

NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it’s not happening. So I’m ignoring Twitter’s 140-character limit, so it’s not happ

People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t

It is meant to be survival of the fittest, not survival of the most floral.

The problem is, God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.

People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.

Eunice had deposited St John upon the balcony of the first-floor apartment of former Liberal MP, The Rt. Hon. Leonard Cossins, the disgraced Lord Mayor of Mitchell-Baines who had been removed from office having been...

He’d never been shy, but he’d always been a little uncertain around girls. He just couldn’t believe they liked him.

It is one of the benchmarks of a culture I always think – the page at which it operates. A good way to measure it is to order a taxi and see how irate local...

Her lips taste like mint from toothpaste or gum, or sometimes like cherries or grapes from her lip gloss. She’s soft when I hold her, with curves where my hands rest, and when I touch...

Dor woke again as dawn came. The sun had somehow gotten around to the east, where the land was, and dried off so that it could shine again.

—Cuando me ponga en contacto con usted le propondré que nos tuteemos, ,le parece?—Encantado de haberte conocido.

Love may be on the horizon, but beware something wicked this way comes.

reading”.

Qadir waded out of the water next, the chestnut mare calm under his touch, and Silus raised a disgusted eyebrow.‘There’s no justice. Not only the best horseman I’ve met in this whole bloody country, but...

Naw, I say. Mr ____, can tell you, I don’t like it at all. What is it to like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your waist, plunge in. Most times I...

Yes, that is the official term.

It’s good to write badly. Things can only get better.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, maybe you’re not funny

Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the same time

There! Now we’re friends!” declared the minx. “Say you’re sorry about my sister -“”I am desolated!””That’s a good boy!

First I was decayed, I was putrefied. Kept thinking I could never live on, now that I had died…

I’m warning you because you’re young and vulnerable. He’s a dirty, lying, conniving piece of shit and he’s dangerous.” Gottfried Baumauer.

Unfortunately it’s also true to say that good management is a bit like oxygen – it’s invisible and you don’t notice its presence until it’s gone, and then you’re sorry.

Pops added,”you know, they say if you don’t vote, you get the government you deserve.””And if you do, you never get the results you expected,” (Katherine) replied.

She was a gardener of the ruthless type, and went for any small green thing that incautiously showed a timid spike above the earth, suspecting it of being a weed. She had had a slight...

Look!” said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, “Someone who cares!

Karo kann sehr gut schießen. Sie trifft nur nicht immer.

Never did she find anything so difficult as to keep herself from losing her temper when she was suddenly disturbed while absorbed in a book.

well done, Derry”? I am disappointed in you, William Pole. There’s not many men could have pulled this off in such a time, but I have, haven’t I? The French looked for foxes and found...

Personally, I thin knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

If you cannot laugh frequently and genuinely, you have no soul.

A halo is a cock ring for the soul.

My name is Mr Bread.” He began writing his name neatly on the board. “But you can call me Peter.”Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.”Pita Bread!” proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the...

Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.