Darling love… you are.

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the...

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

You know, my poor grandmother once told me that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Life has taught me that it’s actually a few inches lower.

InsomniaI cannot get to sleep tonight.I toss and turn and flop.I try to count some fluffy sheepwhile o’er a fence they hop.I try to think of pleasant dreamsof places really cool.I don’t know why I...

We could all use the power of prayer now and then, but it seems to me that the people who are sure they have a direct line to heaven are most often calling collect with...

I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them.

Pamper a tomato, overfeed it, overwater it and you will get a Paris Hilton of a tomato.

His desire for this to be a joke was quickly replaced by a desire for whiskey.

Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I’ll tell you who you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I’m told,...

Merry Christmas!

Women treat us [men] like humanity treats gods – they worship us and keep bothering us to do something.

The weather had freshened almost to coldness, for the wind was coming more easterly, from the chilly currents between Tristan and the Cape; the sloth was amazed by the change; it shunned the deck and...

—,Cómo se llama?—,Yo?, Manuel González, ,por qué? —preguntó receloso.—No, usted no, el anciano que debo buscar.

I can’t help suspecting, that there is, or may be some regurgitation from the bath into the cistern of the pump. In that case, what a felicate beveridge is quaffed by the drinkers; medicated with...

Only the great warriors fall down from their horses; one would not fall who rides a donkey cart.

Cake.” I admired his directness.

My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.

101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies and not be called sexist. If a man indulges in this behavior over...

I got this to say. You’re acting like a crowd of kids.

if you’re a teenaged babysitter caring for a mute toddler in a remote Maine cabin during a once-in-a-century blizzard while and escaped killers (bearing a strange resemblance to the handicapped boy you and your friends...

Detective Inspector Eccles sighed. He may ordinarily have met his sigh with the question of why the newly appointed Superintendent Dickinson was turning up to this late hour crime scene, he may also ordinarily question...

I’m so honest, that in order to compliment you, I’d improve you first.

Time cleaning was less time reading, so I usually just did the minimal amount, and left it for another day, a day that would never come.

With him big Phil from Notting Hill an old “face” from the sixties a pin up gangster with a “mars bar” weal scraping his left cheek and of course two “wag” slags in tow trussed...

The varying physical characteristics of the actors may also necessitate changes. Sean Connery is six feet four. Dustin Hoffman isn’t.

Newton Pulsifer had never had a cause in his life. Nor had he, as far as he knew, ever believed in anything. It had been embarassing, because he quite wanted to believe in something, since...

Oh, I wasn’t saying no,” Mistress Weatherwax said, taking two large pickled cucumbers.

How often misused words generate misleading thoughts.

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

I believe that if it were left to artists to choose their own labels, most would choose none.

This was fast becoming messy war with our hall now covered in foam and a puddle of green slime…

Try jogging when following your heart, it’s healthier

Christmas comes but once a year, starts in August ends in July

We, you say? What do you think I can do about it? I can’t even walk without help. How can you and I set about preventing a murder? You’re about a hundred and I’m a...

When he didn’t answer, she didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t or if he was back to not talking to her. Back to pushing her out of his life.Men! Why was it that...

Baumauer secretly fears Kalist – and Kalist knows it.

Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees.

There is much to discover that’s not on the back cover!

On the doorstep Adele met Tony Limpsfield. She hurried him into her motor, and told the chauffeur not to drive on.”News!” she said. “Lucia’s going to have a lover.””No!” said Tony in the Riseholme manner”But...

Knock yourself out… Or rather, don’t.

Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid for it, like the decorations of an insane monkey.

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she’d fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew...

No,” he said, “look, it’s very, very simple … all I want … is a cup of tea. You are going to make one for me. Keep quiet and listen.” And he sat. He told...

What’s a Dullahan?”He’s a headless horseman, in the service of the banshee.”Headless?”Yes.”Seriously?”Yes.”So he has no head?”That’s usually what headless means.”No head at all?”You’re really getting hung up on this headless thing, aren’t you?”It’s just kind...

Would you ask a man who bags groceries if he fears death not because it is death but because there are still some interesting groceries he would like to bag?

He continued to attack the gate. His arm started to ache. The hammer was designed for neither brute nor force. “Are you all right up there?” asked Eleanor. “Want me to go see if I...

You forgot something important!-What?-It’s under my sweater!-WHAT?!-Me!

Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.