I might be 30 years old, but a girl never outgrows the need for her mother.

I didn’t want to die – not before I’d finished reading The Return of the Native anyhow.

Holy crap!” Xavier blurted

I said that additionally, since I was planning to nurse, it be best if you were off the breast before I came back to work. My boss just looked at me dreamily and said, ‘That...

Enjoying a cup of coffee and a good book, is there anything better? Only if literature were liquid and drinkable.

It is a fool of a shepherd who culls his dogs.

Are you French?’ I asked instead.’Oui!’Foreign. Foreign spy. French Communist Party acted on Stalin’s instructions during part of World War II. French Communist spy.Stop it stop it stop itI turned to Art, a black kid...

My clones just honored me with the 2012 Man of the Year Award. But I wasn’t fooled—I knew they were really honoring themselves.

She met a dashing man —he was, a dash.

[Rayleen talking to Billy.] “Grace is thriving here, and I dare anybody to challenge that. Anybody who has a problem with that can come take it up with me.””Thank God,” Billy said, “because I really...

You go Picasso!

It’s best to locate the mind first before launching the ‘missiles of contention’.

Come forward as servants of Islam, organize the people economically, socially, educationally and politically and I am sure that you will be a power that will be accepted by everybody.

Good days are ahead of me. But so is the worst day of my life—my last day. I need a cup of coffee large enough to take a bath in.

If I were deaf, I’d wear loud clothing. My clothes would also be covered in coffee stains, because Helen Keller is my hero.

You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient’s friends.

I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regrettedmost of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.

What’s a feminist?” Julie asked.”Someone who thinks women are fish,” Barton replied. He was smiling at Lily. “And that men are bicycles, which makes us basically useless to anyone of the fish persuasion. But it...

If you make a deal with a fool, don’t be surprised when they act foolishly.

The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the Q letter into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.

A brick could be exchanged for a bar of gold. But be sure you wait until the owner of the gold isn’t looking before you make the switch.

I am quite scandalous, you see. I come packaged with unpredictable moments, brutal honesty, calamitous outbursts, the ghastly need for love, a fiendish lack of filter, the horrific need to question everything, nauseating affection, offensive...

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

Earrings are like orgasms. You can never have too many.” ” I never thought about it quite that way.” Well, you’re a man. ” She gave his knee a friendly pat.

I didn’t have time to grow out a beard, so I glued a wig on instead. I make love like a hare in a tortoise shell.

When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. “Put your clothes in for a wash,” he said. “They were disgusting.”Ginny always thought that the only way of getting...

Finally Marcus stepped forward. “If you insist on going through me to get him, it’s your call. But I warn you, I will probably cry when you hurt me, and you’ll fell bad about it...

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and...

You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down, this is important…The world is f**ked up because I eat WonderBread preserved with...

To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.

I wasn’t fooled. He was avoiding looking at me. “There’s nothing to talk about.””I knew you’d say that. Actually, it was a toss-up between that and ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.'”Dimitri sighed.

I’ve got a lot of love to give you. And by you I mean your clone.

Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” I said cheerfully, getting in touch with my inner smartass.

I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry.

A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a meat tenderizer.

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

You need a father figure in your life.

When we were almost to the other campus, I felt the weird nausea hit me. I called a warning to Christian, just as a Strigoi grabbed him. But Christian was fast. Flames wreathed the Strigoi’s...

[The materialist] thinks me a slave because I am not allowed to believe in determinism. I think [the materialist] a slave because he is not allowed to believe in fairies.

I’m rarely rude except accidentally, and that doesn’t really count…

Zoo: An excellent lace to study the habits of human beings

You’re a very odd man,” said Bert.”I get that more often than you’d think,” replied Charles.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn’t be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

This was the move that was supposed to sweep me away. She seemed a little out of practice. I guess life with Charley Royce hadn’t exactly been the third reel of The English Patient. It...

Lady, I was gonna cut you some slack, ’cause you’re a major mythological figure…but now you’ve just gone nuts!

I was short staffed. But that’s what happens when all your employees are midgets. I make love like spicy rice.

It’s not reasonable to love people who are only going to die,” she said.Nash thought about that for a moment, stroking Small’s neck with great deliberation, as if the fate of the Dells depended on...

In other words – and this is the rock-solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation’s Galaxywide success is founded – their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.

My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She’s tied up in the trunk this very moment.