A husband is like a fire – he goes out when unattended.

[Anger is] the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother’s keeper, or his keeper’s brother

Zoo: An excellent lace to study the habits of human beings

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy – and Jill a rich widow

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it

Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

If there is anything a _ _ _ _ _ hates it’s a drooping mustache

Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

A husband is like a fire–he goes out when unattended.

A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name.