Secret 5.56.45. The scar confirms the beauty, the beauty the scar.

Do you know what I want to do? If you guessed have sex, you win a brand new baby!

Can you squeeze me into an empty page of your diary and psychologically save me?

Bashere shrugged, grinning brhind his grey-streaked moustaches, “When I first slept in a saddle, Muad Cheade was Marshal-General. The man was as mad as a hare in spring thaw. Twice every day he searched his...

A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore,...

I drink wine like beer, only twice as much less.

I’m past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I’d win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

Le 99%, c’est moi.

A baseball club for girls?

When you sleepI will creepInto your thoughtsLike a bad debtThat you can’t payTake the easy wayand give in!

He knew she loved him in that moment. Gabe never wanted to be part of the holy fight, but now he was, he was not about to lose.

A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what kind of life am I trying to build? Well, I guess I want...

I never got to call myself a door-to-door salesman, because, regrettably, I only ever went to one door. But one day I just might knock on another door, to be able to proudly say that...

So much better for you to long for what you can never have, than to get it and have to face the reality of it. I assure you, when you realize the reality of this...

You only need one part of your body, and you’ll be sliding that into warmth.

When the gain is greater than the pain, I’ll be there, telling you how we can both profit from your productivity. That’s what love is about.

I hated puberty. It had been that horrible stage from child hood, to pre teen, and my stage from ugly, to ugly with menstrual cramps.

Pissing out the window, and sh*tting out the window, are two different things!

I think I am, therefore, I am… I think.

I’ve written for those who want to learn, truly learn, about a community with which they aren’t familiar. Or for those who have preconceptions but can admit they may not be entirely accurate (and, in...

I never fail. It’s just that the people around me succeed more than I.

Secret 46. Safe house, dangerous bedroom.

I meet people to know I’m not alone, and I network like an astronaut on the moon. Tom James is the Neil Armstrong of #Networking.

Wisdom of the Ages “News People” Always joking around and happy. I guess that proves that ignorance really is bliss.

He knew from experience that true and obvious ideas, such as the ineffable wisdom and judgment of the Great God Om, seemed so obscure to many people that you actually had to kill them before...

If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace?

If you Have ever Fainted, You Are a stranger in the land of the dead!

Don’t worry, the situation is undercontrolled

Now she sat in their dining hall, a book in her lap but unread while she stared blankly across the room.Bercelak’s kin kept themselves busy by sharpening weapons, reading, talking, or setting things on fire...

Though the doctors treated him, let his blood, and gave him medications to drink, he nevertheless recovered.

I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn’t even trade the acne scar on my right cheek,...

A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

I have 26 silly faces, each represents a different letter of the alphabet. So while you think I am grimacing over what you are talking about, I am really spelling out I love you.

…all members of Congress should be required wear NASCAR uniforms. You know, the kind with the patches? That way we’d know who is sponsoring each of them. I think he was kidding; they’d never be...

All my memories seem to happen to music. Memories of my mother and father; waking up early on Christmas morning; the little apartment we lived in above the disco.

When I see a beautiful woman, my heart doesn’t go “Thump, thump.” It goes “Hush, hush.” I’m very secretive about my feelings.

You’re not going to campus. You’re going out to get drunk and play with other ladies’ boobies.” – Kye

One day I’ll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you’ll be in trouble.

A brick could be broken—shattered—and then given as a gift, a jigsaw puzzle.

My name is Hope Happy, and I am a pessimist.

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake, and they don’t Think.

Who cares even if I didn’t?!” Conor shouted back. “They’re just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!”The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words...

I couldn’t steal an idea. Not even if my clone came up with it. But I could steal your heart—even if my clone had it stored in a cryogenic freezer.

…Daisy doesn’t even go to his funeral, Nick and Jordan part ways, and Daisy ends up sticking with racist Tom… you can tell Fitzgerald never took the time to look up at clouds during sunset,...

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl’s panties.

I don’t own a cat. My cat owns a human.

There are four quarters in a football game. That’s natural, because that’s 100%. I’m a 75% kind of fan, because I’m all about the quarterback.

All the kids from daycare are in dreamland.The froggie has made his last leap.Hell no you can’t go to the bathroom.You know where you can go?The f**k to sleep.

We have truth in order not to die of art.

She made my heart melt, so I replaced it with a new candle. Love is illuminating.