A friend comes over with a Ouija board.It spells out: Bourbon. Where’s the band?Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.

Curse you, cheap beer. Must find miso in tiny packet.

You know that movie, where the little boy says ‘I see dead people’?The Sixth Sense.Well, I see them all the time, and I’m getting tired of it. That’s what’s ruined my mood. Here it is,...

If hot food is they key to maintaining an expedition’s stamina, then low grade gut-rot alcohol is the key to sustaining its sense of pleasure.

Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of pills and end up in A&E having my stomach pumped? Am...

Meanwhile the 3 a.m. drunks of the world would lay in their beds, trying in vain to sleep, and deserving that rest, if they could find it.

It is no longer necessary to preach sonorously of the sinful and deleterious effect of liquor on the human mind and body; the essential evil is recognised scientifically, and only the sophistry of conscious immorality...

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you’re pregnant…if you’re planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine.

Drink and drive are prohibited in all countries. Otherwise, alcohol will drive us to hell or at-least to jail.

Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other but said nothing, because they’d each left their mouth at home.

So what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?Develop a drinking problem. More Scotch, please.

Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol.

Come, drunks and drug-takers; come perverts unnerved!Receive the laurel, given, though late, on merit; to whom and wherever deserved.Parochial punks, trimmers, nice people, joiners true-blue,Get the hell out of the way of the laurel. It...

It isn’t chic for women to be drunk. Men drunks are more excusable, more easily absolved, but why? It must be thought they have better reasons.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

Civilization begins with distillation

I do like to have fun. I don’t need alcohol to have fun.

A drinker does not exist. Whatever they say, it is just the drink talking

Cheap booze is a false economy.

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.

At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women.

If I were an alcoholic, I’d work at a wine farm, where grape booze grows on trees, bottled and ready to chug.

I’ll drink your champagne. I’ll drink every drop of it, I don’t care if it kills me.

Lovecraft says he knows about tentaclesbut that motherfucker never bedded a girl from West Chesterand survivedShe was a toothachethat oneand she tasted like crackthe best thing about her was if I was ever hungryI could...

The problem with the 11:11 Phenomenon is getting anybody interested in it that hasn’t experienced it themselves. Other phenomena, such as U.F.Os or crop circles, are able to be seen. We can debate them. But...

Smoking’s banned in my house. Cigarettes harm your body,” he said, knocking back half of the bottle of beer.

We do not want to believe that we cannot control alcohol and that alcohol is, in truth, controlling and dictating our lives. When you free yourself of a dictator, like alcohol, the freedom that you...

Sniffing glue is a homeless nonbeliever’s prayer.

The ceremonial differentiation of the dietary is best seen in the use of intoxicating beverages and narcotics. If these articles of consumption are costly, they are felt to be noble and honorific. Therefore the base...

There’a a phrase, “the elephant in the living room”, which purports to describe what it’s like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, “How could...

Rather a drink be my master than a man.

I don’t drink no whiskey but I’m a fool about my home made wine. I stays around Dallas cause I makes it there all the time

I better understood the little lies that liquor told, lifting spirits and drowning sorrows while withholding the whole truth–that, in the end, it is the spirit in peril of drowning. Sorrows have gills.

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was.

Volnaka … did a remarkable job of getting anyone drunk with alacrity. It also worked well as a combustible in lamps, as paint remover, was a marvelous antiseptic and was singularly effective at erasing any...

I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

Although people are so kind to alcohol, still alcohol makes them blind.

I drink coffee like an alcoholic drinks gasoline. You wouldn’t believe how many gallons my little car can hold.

I mulled over what he had told me as I savored the Scotch. Not bad, really — like a beer that’s been in a brawl.

There is more food in a pennyworth of bread than in a gallon of ale.

I find that when people laugh it’s usually because they’re connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn’t considered. That’s my payoff. I’m not interested in other people thinking differently. I don’t care. I’m...

Dell had left the army and taken the discipline home with him. I’d left the theatre world and taken the whisky sodas home with me.

Did Ida never look for him?” Dieter asks.”She didn’t believe in spirits.””And what became of Henry?””Oh. From time to time you can still hear him calling. My father heard his voice himself.””Every Saturday night when...

You’re walking down Fool’s Street, Laura used to say when he was drinking, and she had been right. He had known even then that she was right, but knowing had made no difference; he had...

I mean, that’s at least in part why I ingested chemical waste – it was a kind of desire to abbreviate myself. To present the CliffNotes of the emotional me, as opposed to the twelve-column...

I had never been a dresser. My shirts were all faded and shrunken, 5 or 6 years old, threadbare. My pants the same. I hated department stores, I hated the clerks, they acted so superior,...

Though at times interested in reforms, notably prohibition (I have never tasted alcoholic liquor), I was inclined to be bored by ethical casuistry; since I believed conduct to be a matter of taste and breeding,...

As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies.

Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it. I drank more and continued my mantra. ‘Stop thinking’, swig, ’empty your head’, swig, ‘now, seriously empty your head’.