Sex with Panda was like being in a porno movie but without a third party involved.

Twice I’d come home as they were finishing, and, honestly, I cannot think of a lonelier sound on a Saturday night than one’s roommate having a giant orgasm and then making an embarrassed sssh sound,...

I’ve always liked a woman that understood the value of getting out of my bed just as quick as she’d jumped in it.

You can get a large audience together for a strip-tease act—that is, to watch a girl undress on the stage. Now suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply...

And now you’re off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They’ll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you’re about.””Everyone keep warning me about sailors,” I complained....

You’re never too old to laugh at stories about love and sex.

Were archaeologists really such a sex-starved lot as all that? Did pigs really sweat?

Shug say, What, too shamefaced to put singing and dancing and fucking together? She laugh. That’s the reason they call what us sing the devil’s music. Devils love to fuck.

Experimenting with touch, he found he barely had to ripple a light fingertip over his sleeping lover, and Tristan would move, twisting until he was melted into Michael’s embrace. Stroking Tristan’s cheek got Michael a...

I really get inspired by songs. Like, if I hear a thug ‘Want to kill ya’ song, I’m ready to go out and get crazy. Or if you hear this really sexual, sensual slow song,...

Sex should be about mutual enjoyment, connection, the borrowing from another’s fire at a moment when you want it most.

Okay. We’ve got about twenty minutes before I get mean again.’ She laughed, relieved the night was still young, ‘What are you, some kind of sex-werewolf?

He dropped the joint in the dirt and ran inside. It wasn’t his first, and wouldn’t be his last. The joint, that is. Not the kid. He was pretty sure, at this point, that he...

After being alive, the next hardest work is having sex.

You call this a relationship? [Maria] Well, it’s tedious and the sex is dwindling, so from what I’ve heard, yes. [Samantha]

Pain today, pussy tomorrow.

Uno no sabe lo que es la vida hasta que desnuda por primera vez a una mujer. Botón a botón, como si pelase usted un boniato bien calentito en una noche de invierno.

It goes back to keeping things equal. Friendship feels really demeaning if one person still likes the other more, which is probably what caused the breakup in the first place. It’s such a misnomer that...

There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

Okay baby, let’s take this rocket to Uranus. This hoor is perfect, and she can act as well.

You know, when I see a good-looking man, the first thing I think about is sex. I want to see him naked, and I imagine running my hands impatiently over his hot body.I can’t help...

Man knows himself as body, and what he knows of spirit comes through grace. The poet would call it inspiration. But the spirit bloweth where it listeth. Man has no control over his inspiration. If...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

To see and feel one’s beloved naked for the first time is one of life’s pure, irreducible epiphanies. If there is a true religion in the universe, it must include that truth of contact or...

Good sex is the basis of any truly civilized society.

Can you still want something you already have? Absolutely. Everyday.

Du wirst mir ganz fremd, wenn du mit mir schläfst”, habe ich ihm gesagt, und dass das Bett die einzige Bühne sei, auf der er wirklich Theater spiele, auf der er nicht mehr einfach Is...

When you get to mixing sex and religion, it will make anybody crazy.

(In actuality there are no such things as “male” or “female” hormones. Hormones have no sex of their own, and all types of sex hormones are present in all human beings in varying amounts.)

She wondered if she had grown obsessed with sex. She admitted to thinking about it almost all the time. … “And if I’m not thinking about sex, I’m thinking about death,” she added bitterly. “Sometimes...

I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you naked, I’ll want to make war to you.

Each instinct and passion of man is amoral; it is only the abuse of these passions that makes them wrong. There is nothing wrong about hunger, but there is something wrong about gluttony; there is...

show, don’t tell.” Whatever might be happening in my books, I try to put the reader into the middle of it, rather than summarizing the action. That requires vivid sensory detail. I don’t want distance,...

Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I did have money, I wouldn’t pay for sex, because women would sleep with...

I blended into the kitchen like a blender, but I made so much noise that I nearly woke up the strawberries and bananas. You should hear me make love. (I sound like an ice machine,...

Having kids and making kids are two different hobbies. I don’t have any children, but I do have lots of sex. It is an expensive hobby, but well worth the money I spend on it.

I’m like a praying mantis, except not so devout. And I make love like a monk in meditation, which can often be confused with being asleep.

I am mad in love like fire, and I speak sushi after a night of fingernail sandwiches. Last night’s sex was so scratchy that this morning my throat is sore.

Meatloaf is graphable in how far ahead it is in likeability categories. You can also play Mop the Floor with it. I make love like I make dinner that makes cleaning the kitchen more fun...

The mind-blowing, ridiculous sex which was the stuff of both poetry and porn – so unlike anything else I had ever experienced before.

I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills.

I like my women like I like my sugar—refined. Actually, I like my sugar natural, like my mannequin sex.

As soon as they grow that genitalia, intelligence goes right out the window and we’re left with this thing that just wants to stick it in any hole.

Good, because if the guy isn’t making you walk funny after sex, then probably isn’t anything to write home to mom about.

To feel physically comfortable with someone else’s body is not a decision you make. It has very little thing to do with how two people think or act or talk or even look. The mysterious...

We were a galaxy exploding into a million pieces, creating a whole new world, as we crashed against each other on the soft surface of his mattress, a cloud in the darkness, our bodies finally...

Women need to assert their rights in the bedroom too – many women have done so in the workplace; many women have done so in house chores and parenting, but women’s rights are sorely lacking...

It is my job-no,-my privilege-to make the fire become an inferno. -Gray

French. Feel. Finger. Fuck.

It wasn’t awful to be a man’s sex object if you wanted to be, if it made you feel good, if everyone was happy in the end.