She may be an uggo, but that dress would turn anyone into a rock star.

My friends call me Wrath,” says Raffe. “My enemies call me Please Have Mercy. What’s your name, soldier boy?” Raffe’s mocking tone brings a flush to my cheeks for no reason.

You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?

We all know whose side you’re on,” marshall says, picking him up and launching him toward the window. The explosive sound of glass shattering fills the room. The walls tremble from the sheer heft of...

I can’t help but watch his lips as they cover the opening of the bottle that my lips were just touching. We’re practically kissing.

I’ve always been a monster,’ Scapegrace told her, ‘but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.”You smell terrible.”That’s the smell of evil.”It’s like rancid meat and bad eggs.”Evil,” Scapegrace insisted.

They’re really into it, laughing and teasing each other, and I am looking at Pam and thinking once again how she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and that if we were...

Drugs?””Rituals. Are you messing around with drugs?””No. But maybe rituals.””Drugs might be better.

Sam’s hand brushed her shoulder, and she almost jumped out of her skin as he brought his mouth close to her ear and murmured, “You look beautiful. Though I bet you already know that.” She...

Everyone thinks you’ve been kidnapped,” he said. “We’ve been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you’ve been here all night?””Frank!” Annabeth’s ears were as red as strawberries. “We just came down...

Is it? Because that picture of me was taken by my old school’s yearbook club, and they put it in the section titled ‘STUDENT FAILSAUCES! XD.What’s an XD?A sideways laughing face of horrendous proportions. Don’t...

You are all made of real poop.

Natural talent!” crowed Vincent, sweeping my sweaty self up into his arms and pacing across the room, holding me like a trophy. “Of course my girlfriend’s got it. In truckloads! How else could she have...

I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.

Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. And if you can’t be a unicorn, be an llama.

my pants dont fit either

Sorry. Sorry. Don’t hit. Bitches be scary when they hit.

Jerks,” I muttered. Then I brightened. “Oh, hey. Doughnuts.

Is he an assassin?””Ask him yourself”, Prophet said, and Tom turned to Mal.”You kill people?”Mal signed something, and Prophet glanced over.”He said, not today, but it’s still early

Compared with my life Cinderella was a spoiled brat.

I don’t think I have the right parts to appreciate ’50 Shades of Grey’.

Because we like to blow stuff up,blow stuff up, blow stuff up!

I was just saying your name.

You’re doing it again and it really annoys me. In fact, I will have to kill you now because I have a lot of untamed energy because of the Sex God. I’m going to have...

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I’ll be first in line.

Staring at her, his reasons are lost to me.

He is as good as anybody in this parish! He is very particular, too, about going to church-yes, he is!”I am afeard nobody ever saw him there. I never did, certainly.”The reason of that is,’...

Caring about him was like trying to love a tree stump – a cold, mean-spirited paternalistic tree stump. With fungus.

The human placenta is filled with nutritious benefits, one of which is creating a fertile environment. At my age, I’m going to need all the help I can to have a baby, and if having...

Ugh! I absolutely hate lust. Hate. It. Every fiber of my being knows he’s not a good person, yet my body doesn’t seem to give a shit at all.

Everyone gets tortured these days. Skulduggery by Serpine, who then turned around and did that red right hand thing at you. Then Skulduggery was tortured again by the Faceless Ones. I figured it was my...

Gideon laughed. “I like to be direct.””Okay,” I said. “But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages.” “I doubt it.””Human interaction is not my strong point,” I told...

It’s like scrying into that weird space. There’s so much coming out of him, it shouldn’t be possible. Do you remember that woman who came in who was pregnant with quadruplets? It was like that,...

Great, we’re all bloody inspired.

Me neither,” Leo admitted.

Forget boys and read a good book. Or study. When you’re twenty-five and ranking in the big bucks, men will be falling all over you’re a successful professional woman.

Thank you all for such a warm and generous welcome. As we all are perfectly aware, my first act as mistress of the house shall be to bed your master. Do excuse.

Did you see the look on that guy’s face when he hit the ground? He was all like “Come here, defenceless little girl,’ and then you were like ‘BAM! Take that, suck-face! I’ve got superpowers!

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I’m so stupid. Forget I just said that. “He needs a Band-Aid,” I said. A look passed between...

Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.

Sexual reproduction and food — humans’ two favorite subjects.

Which brings me to the point of this call.” Thank God, baby Jesus, and the Holy Ghost.

Okay, but if you try to get me to pray with you, I walk.

you could cry, get worried or angry like any other human being, as long as you remembered that up above your spirit was laughing out loud at those thorny situation

I remembered Father remarking once that if rudeness was not attributable to ignorance it could be taken as a sure sign that one was speaking to a member of the aristocracy.

Did you finish yours, Kota?””Working on it now, Actually.””How’s it going?”He sat up, turning in his chair and holding up his notebook. “I don’t know. What rhymes with formaldehyde?”My eyes widened. Gabriel laughed, rubbing his...

A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

I sort of lost my temper.

Tell me it’s not true.”He sighed. “Fine. It’s not true.”…And yet…”Are you lying?”He rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m lying.””Not cool.” I muttered.Kyle shrugged. “I didn’t want you to start hyperventilating again.” His hair fell...

Butt holes are like a one-way street; they were made the way they were for a reason.