Yes. We will live the rest of our lives in hell. It’s not so bad: as long as you’re prepared for it, you can live anywhere.

Foolish potato, talking to her like that won’t work. You’ve got to be mean and show off your foil-wrapped rigidity.

Michael: “Thing is, I’d like to go out with you. What are you doing on Saturday?”Siobhan: “Committing suicide.”Michael: “Alright then, what are you doing on Friday?”(from Stormling, 2014)

… all his faces were designed to express rage or loathing. Now that something had happened which really deserved a face, he had none to celebrate it with. As a kind of token, he made...

I love you.” Of course, straight to the point was also an effective strategy.

More like an offer I’m hoping you can’t refuse.

The lot of the brideto be wed before beddesired until rotten.The lot of the authorto be read before bedadmired then forgotten.

Your sister and I were just makin’ out.

We’ve determined that Ms. Hauptman is a potential threat to the public safety, and we are bringing her in as a murder suspect who has supernatural powers that make her too dangerous to be incarcerated...

It may be that The Great Gatsby is as perfect, word for word, just in terms of English; but Ulysses is deeper, richer, wider – and is comic, whereas The Great Gatsby is a tragic...

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

He hated being filled with terror. It was embarrassing.

I once tried to give him a friendly little “drugs chat”. He politely corrected me on every single fact, then said he’d noticed I drank above the recommended guidelines of Red Bull and did I...

YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side,’said the dewdrop to the lake.

On a world where a common table implement is a little device with which you crack the ice that has formed on your drinnk between drafts, hot beer is a thing you come to appreciate.

Fever jumped aside just in time to dodge the shower of urine, and stumbled into the path of a religious procession – celebrants in robes and pointed hats whirling and clapping and chanting the name...

You are where your brain is but not where a front-page headline is.

Poverty, hatred, war, police-criminals, bureaucracy, insanity, all symptoms of The Human Virus.

What in the blue star-blazes did you see in Jason?” he asked, still forcefully but with his frustration and jealousy under better control.”For one thing, Djetth, he wasn’t trying to kill me!”(“Marsh”, heroine of Insufficient...

And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it...

ouch,” nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine didn’t feel anything because of the use of the aforesaid retractable pins, and one witch declared that it had miraculously cleared up the arthritis in her leg.

I don’t want to be a genius-I have enough problems just trying to be a man.

It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect.

This might not be the best moment to ask me that.

I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL . . . BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK . . . . IT’S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS

Rogue Squadron doesn’t run. Unless we really, really have to.””No, this will be Wraith Squadron’s mission.””We don’t mind running. Even when we don’t have to.

I had everything summed up in a nutshell unfortunately I lost the nut.

If you count sheep before you go to sleep, are you barrrrr’d from dreams?

I often wonder why the whole world is so prone to generalise. Generalisations are seldom if ever true and are usually utterly inaccurate.

If I have to face the end of human existence, I want to look totally smoking when it happens. Now shut the hell up.

Every time I so much as blink you get an erection.

The world has seen more believers in times of troubles than in peace and joy.

All trademarks, company names, registered names, products, characters, mottos, logos, jingles and catchphrases used or cited in this work are the property of their respective owners and have only been mentioned and or used as...

The news that she had gone of course now spread rapidly, and by lunch time Riseholme had made up its mind what to do, and that was hermetically to close its lips for ever on...

The boy knew that escaping school was the surest sign of his election.

He had decided that if he ever returned to his old job he would create a special level of hell, an enormous inescapable shop of attractive but useless and overpriced items that the damned would...

Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. – T-shirt

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and...

I’m almost finished,” said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.”I never doubted you for a moment,” said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. “I actually doubted...

Which college?”Hmm?”Which college do you go to?’Fletcher nodded. ‘Yes.”I’m sorry?”Oh,’ Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie’s parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.

Don’t ask me who’s influenced me. A lion is made up of all the lambs he’s digested, and I’ve been reading all my life.

I didn’t feel strong. I felt like a big ball of wuss that wanted to curl up in my bed and never get out.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been covered head to toe in prickle bush, but let me tell you, it’s not a pleasant experience, as I’m sure you can imagine.

I was going to write that all your clothes fall off, but figured you may have a problem with that. This was the second thing that came to mind.”(Karl and Elena)

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!

It’s supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button.

I don’t really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.