I love you like bananas—bunches. Monkeys also love bananas. I’m growing a tree in honor of honor, and I think we should hang out.

Depends on who’s winning the war.

My parents are going to kill me!””That seems rather harsh…

More often than not, if a person is wearing a smile, there is a victim attached somewhere.

When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.

Listen, I’m going to go lock myself in the coat closet, okay? Don’t disturb me if you can help it?” She frowned at me.”Telepathy stuff,” I said. “It may not work, but I’ve got to...

She wasn’t much for words, but she told me she loved me in other ways, like showing me her main superpower—invisibility. I often wouldn’t see her for weeks straight, and for her to show me...

Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.

Mannequin Love.

Love in a box. It’s a gift—for both of us, from both of us.

He smiled. “How kind of you to confirm what I already know. Perhaps next you will introduce me to myself. I hear I am quite popular.

Do people ever climb the demon towers? Like, for any reason?” Aline looked up. “Climb the demon towers?” She laughed. “No, no one ever does that. It’s totally illegal, for one thing, and besides, why...

A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?

For a while. Minus the singing.

His name is Arnold. But you’re not on a first name basis with him, and that’s not his first name. So that’s Mr. Arnold to you. Once you get to know him, he may let...

My love is shaped like a dog whistle—the sound, not the thing. As a lover, I’m a fighter. But dogs have more bark than me—and so do trees.

The plot thickens!” Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief.

Don’t eat till you’re full, eat till you’re tired.

A brick and a blanket need a logo, and I’m just the designer to hire to sit around idly as I ideally charge you by the hour.

I smile more when people think ‘I am fool

Jacksonville was founded by a man named Jack. Jack’s last name wasn’t Sonville, as you’d expect. Oddly, Jack’s last name was Fatherville, but since Jack was himself a bastard, he found the name Jackfatherville to...

I am passionate about creating, not about procreating. My love for art is greater than my love for making love.

And I want J.K. Rowling to keep writing in the Potterverse, but I know that’s never going to happen,” I said blithely.

When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.

A brick could be used to monitor earthquakes. If the brick crumbles apart, you can bet an earthquake occurred.

Of course, now I had the problem of communicating what I needed. Marlen was still beating on the door, and Dimitri would be up in a couple of minutes. I glared at the human, hoping...

The man who has pajamas knitted to match those of his cat, must be a superior lover.” My grandpa died a virgin.

If life has taught me anything, it’s that no matter what you should do, you should love. Even if you’re in the process of murdering someone, possibly a politician, your heart should be filled with...

I’d like to see you try that in five inch heels!

How do you kill something that’s already dead?Nobody knows enough about them. Ask Jason. He’ll have an opinion.Wait a moment. Rachel could see Corinne talking to Jason, but they were too far ahead to hear....

I’ve demanded of myself to be more demanding of others.

All the world is queer save thee and me, and even thou art a little queer.

Fool! Nothing but black ink runs through my veins!

I farted like a pack of crying onions. That was my response to her I love you.

I wouldn’t be comfortable, but at least I’d have marginal protection against pointy steel objects that went stab in the night.

Más de una y menos de cien..Creo-se estaba riendo. Le hice un gesto reprobatorio-.Ahora caigo quieres saber porque crees que soy buen amante,-Medio.-Fabuloso-Pichí, pachá.-Portentoso.-Buah.-Un dios del sexo.-Ya quisieras.-Hasta ahora no he tenido queja alguna.- Es...

I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of the torture process.

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.

I’m offering you love on a stick. If you’d like, you can grab it to go. It’s like a popsicle, only it won’t melt if you put it through hell like you did with you...

Who needs a large vocabulary when you can just make up any word at any time? It makes life a whole lot more emeaglibop.

The human body is the best work of art.

Rich in Happiness is about choosing new perspectives, new habits, and a new emotional future.

Thanks, I try to look good.

Crushed again!

Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. – T-shirt

There’s no trouble in this world so serious that it can’t be cured with a hot bath, a glass of whiskey, and the Book of Common Prayer.

Why, that’s adorable!

To modernize their sleeping habits, [Peter the Great] declared, ‘Ladies and gentlemen of the court caught sleeping with their boots on will be instantly decapitated.

Coffee smells like how I imagine heaven will be scented. Would you like to spend eternity in my nose?

Am I still married to a cat? (Adrian)