My asset looked more dead than alive – which, given that he was dead, lent the scene a certain credibility. – [context classified]

The spells are made up. I have met people who assure me, very seriously, that they are trying to do them, and I can assure them, just as seriously, that they don’t work.

The words I love you, as a unit, are like a knife that only stings once you remove the blade from the relationship.

If you’re stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse

Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval...

I think all toys should be invisible. Not only would they improve children’s imaginations, but they’d also be really affordable. In fact, every toy would be free.

A key sociological factor underlying the prevalence of zombies as a theme in modern culture is that zombie movies are cheap as hell to make.

A blanket cold be used as truth. At least it’s so warm, it must be used that way.

Do that again and you’lllose that which you believe makes me whole.

Don’t be so hard on yourself….that’s what a loofah’s for

Are we not all actors playing parts in another person’s play?

In golf, you don’t beat the other golfers—you beat your self-doubt. That’s why I don’t play, because I can’t beat anyone—not even myself.

The USPS is the only place in the world where you will find a black guy, a white guy, and a hispanic guy playing Filipino poker! And we love it that way!

A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.

Trust me, Annwyl, that will be a pleasure.

You’re like a tornado of bullshit right now. We’ll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else’s house.

Where is Polonius?- In heaven; send hither to see: if your messenger find him not there, seek him i’ the other place yourself.

If love were a variety of dog, I’d want mine hot. I’d take my love with ketchup and mustard.

I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.It never is, sir.Lane, you’re a perfect pessimist.I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.

A blanket could be used as a warm topping on a hamburger, sort of like processed cheese, only tastier and healthier.

Cats are portable calm distributors. They’re like vending machines distributing peace for free.

the only drinking problem I’ve ever had, is figuring out why I’m still stuck in this salad spinner

Katniss: ‘What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour’. I snap at himTell him that. Thats not nothing.Peeta: Yes and Im sure the arena will be...

Everyone should drink of me, but I shouldn’t be drunk by everyone. I should be drunk all by myself.

It isn’t he who laughs last, but he whose laugh lasts.

A brick could be covered in black fur, cradled, pet, and called Mr. Fizzlebush. The best part is that since it’ll sit still and silent on the bed, it won’t meow or run away when...

If you have a broken heart, I’d like to fix it. Repairs start at just $69. Special delivery charges may apply.

I can’t wait for the next time I get to put my mouth on you.” In an instant the smile faded and she snapped her teeth and yanked her head back as if she was...

When all else fails…try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn’t work…have another.

How well I know you by your deeds and how invariably you succeed in living down to what one expects of you!

I like food that speaks to me. Food like French toast, English muffins, and Deviled eggs. Oh, oval embryonic spawn of chicken, why hast thou deceived me?

SpookSpeak. Agent n. The average of a double agent and no agent at all.

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.

My apartment complex isn’t. No, it’s simple. I used to think our love was simple, until Chris Hemsworth moved into your heart.

Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night?

Lynn, she saved half our faction from this stuff,” says Marlene, tapping the bandage on her arm from where the Dauntless traitors shot her. “Well, half of half of our faction.””In some circles they call...

Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.

I am the Love Camel of Llama Land. Come, hop on my hump and let me lead you to water.

Yes, well, that doesn’t usually happen to women in London. But it’s not so much of a scandal as it is a challenge.

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.

Damn pity. If I’d known what crimes I’d be exposed to under the guise of fashion, I may have very well stayed dead.

You’re not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why….this is why I like you.

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

I like the crunch sound of snow under my boots. Better than stepping on knuckles.

How do I know you’re who you say you aren’t?

A blanket could be used to alert your guest when he’s overstayed his welcome. But what’s even more effective would be a flying brick at his forehead. Subtlety can be a bit soft, and can...

The name’s David Davidson, and I am not my own son. I’m also not my own father, if you were wondering.

I don’t mind if you forget me.Having learned my lesson,I never left an impression on anyone.

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.