I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory.

There is never another one of you in exactly the same spot you are in right now, so give yourself a break and release blame from the past so you can be free to move...

How can it be, after all this concentrated effort and separation, how can it be that I still resemble, so very closely, my own detestable mother?

One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted...

Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

Lucy: I don’t feel like talking about college. It increases my stress level.James: And increased stress levels lead to hair loss.Lucy: My head-hair volume is fine.James: You say that like I should be concerned about...

I unstrapped her bra like I’d unstrap a seat belt, and for the same reason—to live dangerously. And to exit the vehicle.

The world isn’t fair, Calvin.””I know Dad, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

All those adorable towheaded kids in the promotional film are going to turn thirteen. Once a family member hits puberty, odds are that everybody is not going to have the same ideals. Unless everybody gets...

Facebook is big. Bigger than Justin Bieber or Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter following. Hell, it’s even bigger than obesity and possibly just as lethal!

Being out in the sunlight brightens my mood, especially if that sunlight is reflected off the moon.

Alanna: All I know is that I’m to jump when I’m told and I have no free time.

There is an old saying, or should be, that it is a wise economist who recognizes the scope of his own generalizations.

You never know what you’re going to get with a pinball game,” John said. “It’s a lot like life. You can’t control it, so you have to just roll with it and do the best...

I like pink.”Lucius sniffed. “It’s just red’s sorry, weak cousin.

Apres moi le wreckage

Teen Spirit” I can offer you, if you’re interested.

The lights were off so that his heads could avoid looking at each other because neither of them was currently a particular engaging sight, nor had they been since he had made the error of...

‘Why are you yelling at the television when you know they cannot hear you?’ ‘You wouldn’t understand,’ said Asher, his gaze locked on the screen. ‘It’s a human thing.’

People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as...

In a town like London there are always plenty of not quite certifiable lunatics walking the streets, and they tend to gravitate towards bookshops, because a bookshop is one of the few places where you...

I swear to you, she is an angel sent to earth to spread kindness,” Falih said, his voice somewhat out of pitch. Something must be wrong, thought Iayd.

Oh fuck, he was right there. I was wet as hell and he could probably smell me now. I should have eaten strawberries or melon or a dozen roses or an entire mint plant. Did...

I’m so silent I can hardly hear myself think. But that’s why I bought the scissors and the condom.

You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.

I now warn the reader not to mock me and my mental daze. It is easy for him and me to decipher now a past destiny; but a destiny in the making is, believe me,...

I’m stubborn not stupid. There’s a fine line between the two. Stupid people think they’re right when they’re wrong. Stubborn people know they’re wrong but won’t admit it.

My imagination was running amok again. Twice in one night. This never happens when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter.

I shouldn’t care if they lied to make it more interesting, as long as they were good lies, full of kisses and daring escapes and the occasional act of barbarism. I can’t abide a poor...

Well, I’d have more zing with George Clooney and Harrison Ford in a threesome, but neither of us are going to get that wish.

Not too many people are talking about silence. People are suspiciously silent on the subject of silence.

Love is like whoa! Actually, it’s closer to woe.

It is a strange thing that the human species can only go three days without water and three weeks without food, before the body dies. Yet, so many people can go years hanging onto pain...

I’m sorry ma’am, you appear to be suffering from a mild case of Pretty Pretty Princess syndrome. Have you ingested any magical woodland faeries recently?

I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge, and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry, I was...

I knew what Charley would do. He would spend the evening drinking himself into the mindset of a cinder block. If they had given him as much as a hundred bucks, it would be a...

Sex had been amazing, but it wasn’t a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I’d picked up common sense.

I just got done digging a hole shaped like a human body. But I have no idea what to bury. I’ll probably hide all my love for you, like I would with any other treasure.

The light was only just visible – except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light.

Where have all the Fembots gone?

We do have a highly-advanced biological device called the Illuminator,” Joseph chimed in

My love is divided into three parts. I’ll give you part one and two for free, but for the fourth installation, you’ll have to pay for it.

People ask me all the time, “Where do your ideas come from?” So, to clear up this question…I keep my ideas inside the mind of a tiny man who is tied up in my closet!

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

It’s supposed to be raining Thank Yous on Thursday, after an ingratitude draught. Also, you’d better enjoy my love while it’s fresh, before it goes rotten and I have to sell it to McDonald’s as...

Positiveness is not a god gift. Things are negative when you realize that frog inside you is not able to jump high.

Our opponent is an alien starship packed with atomic bombs,” I said. “We have a protractor.

I want to make a splash in the world, and I want to make one with my dry wit. My dry wit is wetter than you’d imagine.

Lunatics are writers whose works write them, Bat.” “Not all lunatics are writers, Mrs. Rey-believe me.” “But most writers are lunatics, Bat-believe me. The human world is made up of stories, not people.

I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.