Did you know that man had the nerve to lasso me while I was out in the woods?

Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask.‘No,’ says Amber. ‘Let’s do it.

She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn’t that spectacular.

Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.

A brick could be cast in Samuel Jackson roles. It would be cheaper and more dramatic.

will I achieve this?no way.that’s not acknowledging me.i am on wrong way.i accept.

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.

Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves up through continual fornication.

If you put any effort into anything you do and have a strong sense of self to the point where you don’t even question your choices before you walk out of the house— you’re a...

Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

I had liked him for all the wrong reasons.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they’d still be brother and sister.

There really is no sense in pretending to be normal. Just be you because the moment you do, weirder things happen. Crazy comes back into fashion and every woman has to go out and find...

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account…

The queen’s eyes smouldered. “I know my own kind when I see them, and right now there is one in these city walls.” She pointed a finger toward the balcony.”I want her found and brought...

People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.

Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.

There you are. A simple commandment. Not ten of them, just one: ‘Thou shalt not eat.’ (Personally, I wish the very first edict from God hadn’t involved dieting, don’t you?)

I don’t get very involved in the L.A. scene. When you do get invited out, you are expected to be on all the time. It’s just wearying.

It’s all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.

You’re not?

It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by...

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.

She’d had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche.

Something about this made Reynie uneasy. Had he done so badly? Was this meant to test his courage? He did as he was told, closing his eyes and bracing himself as best he could.”Why are...

Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.

void”. Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they’ll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they’re nowhere to...

Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too.

Who’s driving the boat?”Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed.

The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you’ll look back and thank them for...

Day drag.” Ashley answered simply. “The sun turns vampires into dust and drag queens into this.” He motioned with his hand down his body.

Nona needs a very dry martini.

Van was feeding Christian as we walked in the door. I shielded my hands in front of my face to prevent from seeing her bare breast. “God damn woman, put that tit away!””I’m feeding my...

If he can’t get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?””With great care,” Donegan suggested.”How about we run off shout and they follow?” Said Gracious. “Then, just when they think they’ve...

Did we really come all that way?” She asked. “Time flies when you’re scared out of your mind.” He answered.

I’m going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour.” Finbar rolled his eyes. “And they’ll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy...

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon.”Daemon’s grin went up a notch. “Nah, she likes my ass too much for that.

world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones.

Just curious,she mouthed.”What? I didn’t catch that.”Jjuussttccuurriioouuss.She drew it out this time, hoping he’d be able to read her lips.”If you spoke out loud,” he drawled, “I might understand what you’re saying.”Caroline stamped her foot...

You, lass, have a self-image problem.”Well, that might be a little true, but she also had a mirror.

For in the forest someone is always watching and someone is always listening!

What?” she asked again.He pointed ahead of them. “See that?””What, the snow?””Beyond that.””More snow?””Stop looking at the snow.

And if that is the Foremast, what do you think that sail might be called, Mr. Wheeler?””The Foresail?””Very good, Mr. Wheeler, and the next one up would be called…”…”The Next Sail, Sir?””Alas, no, Mr. Wheeler.

It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like...

What’s a slut?” I ask him.”A girl who puts out too easily.””Puts out what?” I imagine Greer putting out dinner and don’t understand what Iwan wouldn’t like about that.”Puts out, you know…” His face, already...

I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college. Read Wikipedia for free instead.

Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog.

late” so and so. I’m sorry to break that bad news, but that person isn’t just late—they’re not even coming!