People spend half of their free time drinking alcohol and the other half watching totally sober people on television. And they want to be those people, live those lives. Ever wondered why we rarely see...

Most people buy the highest quality television sets, only to watch the lowest quality television shows.

I’m really not that special. Really, I’m not. I was on a big TV show, but it was just a TV show.

To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch.

You can’t really compare any TV show to a show written by Aaron Sorkin.

My dream evening is wearing my sweatpants, eating something delicious and watching TV with my boyfriend.

With TV, you have so much to get done during the day that you don’t really have a lot of time to feel your way through it. I know before I walk on the set...

A fish tank is just interactive television for cats.

A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.

I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of...

I have actually directed over thirty plays and about one hundred commercials for cable TV, but have not yet had the opportunity to direct a feature film.

TV is the place that writers want to be.

Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn’t do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony-the money is nice but...

All U.S. irony is based on an implicit “I don’t really mean what I say.” So what does irony as a cultural norm mean to say? That it’s impossible to mean what you say? That...

British actors used to be scared of the multi-year options that U.S. TV shows demand. That has changed, because the same is now happening in the U.K.

We walk in dark places no others will enter. We stand on the bridge and no one may pass. We live for the One. We die for the One. — the Ranger oath

I don’t even see it as cable TV anymore. I’ve been called ‘Larry the Cable Guy’ for so long, I don’t even think about it being about cable. I don’t know anything about cable.

I revisit old favorites like ‘Buffy’ and ‘Battlestar Galactica’ when I’m bored. I am obsessed with ‘Scandal.’ I love TV.

Television is the soma of Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World.

Unpaid internships are worse than slavery,” Gabby said. I looked at her, unsure of what she meant. “They make us work ridiculous hours, for free, and they make us do things an employee would do....

Jim: Green and red. (pulls on green lever which closes a door)Artie: Very impressive. (stops Jim from pulling the red lever). Uh…did it ever occur to you that red might mean danger?Jim: For instance?Artie: For...

My wife says I’m much happier when I’m not a regular on a TV show.

The problem lies not with genre but with formula, which consists of seeing genre conventions as restrictions rather than mere guidelines, ends in themselves rather than possibilities.

You know what show I thought was a riot? Live coverage of Egyptians overthrowing their government.

I don’t watch TV.

This guy’s got a mustache that’s made for TV. I’ve got a mustache that’s made for radio. I keep it zipped up quiet in my pants, next to my cigar.

As long as ugly people are not on TV, you should only ever have interesting people on TV.

I was raised, I feel like, on television, definitely a child of TV, and was always fascinated by storytelling.

You should’ve thought of that before becoming a fireman.””Thought!” he said. “Was I given a choice? I was raised to think the best thing in the world is not to read. The best thing is...

Going from college to being on national TV almost fresh outta school, it happened really fast.

All [tv] shows are like cigarettes. You watch two, you have a higher chance of watching three. They’re all addictive.

The Texas thing is such a big deal because whenever I see Texas in a TV show, they always show slow-moving cattle and cowboys with the hats. I wanted to show that Texas isn’t a...

Celebrity mentality sometimes misguides us to make wrong choices. That’s why T.V screens sometimes lie to us!

You’re a smaller fish in the U.S. There’s just so many more TV shows, and actors, and actresses. Where as in the U.K. you’re in a much smaller market there.

I am like a TV antenna. I catch everything that is in the air, and then I do it my way.

All I wanted to do was go back inside to the library and read a book.I used to spend all my time reading books, or watching television. It was safe. Nobody ever was hurt or...

A healthy man watched what he ate. An intelligent man watched what he watched.

I would love to do something for TV… I wanna do ‘Kavalier & Clay’ on HBO as an eight-parter. It’ll be so much better as a series, honestly.

It’s the difficulty we had with Mr. Bean, actually, when it went from TV to film. You certainly discover that you need to explain more about a character.

Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you’ll be watching TV, and it’ll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you’ll actually find yourself thinking, ‘I don’t want to hear...

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

In sum, then a conservative tech writer offers a really attractive way of looking at viewer passivity and TV’s institutionalization of irony, narcissism, nihilism, stasis. It’s not our fault! It’s outmoded technology’s fault! If TV-dissemination...

It frustrates me that Britain can’t make something like ‘CSI’ or ‘The Sopranos’. Instead, British TV puts soap in primetime while every other civilized nation leaves it in daytime. Viewers should be more demanding.

TV – a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville. However, it is our latest medium – we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.

I want people to laugh and cry, not just sit and stare at the TV.

I never know why people come up to me. I think a lot of them just get super-excited because they recognize me from TV but they don’t remember where.

We made a successful, last-minute effort to get the French Open many years ago, when the USA network bailed on it. I remember, four of us jumped on a plane on the spur of the...

Get your associates as fast as you can and then get a bachelors.””I don’t want that. I want to work in TV.””Trust me, Laura. You’d be happier if you were an accountant.

The ‘Beavis and Butt-head’ movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show.

TV is a question, movies are an answer.