She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names.

The strange fact that out of millions of people in the world, your mother and father met and decided to get married to each other. And out of the millions of sperm, that the one...

I have one little pooch-y stomach in a picture, and all of a sudden I’m pregnant.

If you want to know my story, you have to go back to the beginning. Not the beginning-beginning, but about nine months later. You see, I was born as a poor farm boy. Believe it...

Gloves are condoms for the hands. My bare handshake might impregnate you.

It’s because I’m pregnant, Christian.”He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. “If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier.

Without Khomeini, we would not be where we are. What a pity that, when pregnant with him, his mother did not choose to have an abortion.

I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by dinner I mean marry her.

I’ve always been really good with my heels. Even pregnant, I could perform in heels.

I am not a pregnant working mother wronged.

I’m going to get even, I swear I will. Mark my words, I’m a pregnant cranky woman with insomnia. I have time to plot my revenge.

When I prepare, then I become pregnant… and then I produce. When I produce, then I praise the Lord… and then I become prosperous and then the cycle repeats!

I’m not being like, ‘Hey, everybody, I’m pregnant!’ I’m not that girl.

Being pregnable is no good. No good at all. Like growing a bitter melon in your belly.

The greatest investment you can do in your life is in gaining time.

I had a dream about you. Dinner for two turned into dinner for three when you told me you were pregnant. I was excited, but a little nervous, because we were at a fancy restaurant...

I always see those jeans with the stretchy front on pregnant women, and they look like the dreamiest thing ever.

What manner of mind considers this holy estate [pregnancy] which women are privileged by the Almighty to attain as a slur upon the social conscience?

The health of your future kids does not start with their birth—it starts with you, right now, well before you plan to impregnate your wife.

I fell in love with a beautiful girl, got her pregnant, and then I got married. I wonder whatever happened to that beautiful girl I got pregnant.

I did so many bad things to your god; if he or she exists; would have been pregnant now.

Feel free to look around, but being as though there aren’t any people eighteen or older here, stay off the bed. I’m not allowed to get pregnant this weekend.

Her body accepted my brutal seed and took it to swell within, just as the patient earth accepts a falling fruit into its tender soil to cradle and nourish it to grow. Came a time,...

I had a dream last night I was awake through the pregnancy but I fell asleep at birth when I awoke I was Pinocchio and stuck inside a tree, does that mean I don’t have...

Every four weeks I go up a bra size… it’s worth being pregnant just for the breasts.

Good girl. And wasted. Don’t forget to get really wasted.

He turned around, suddenly concerned. “Are you pregnant? Are you gay? I’d rather you were gay than pregnant. Unless you’re pregnant. Then we’ll deal. Whatever it is, we’ll deal. Are you pregnant?

Agatha told me she was late, and I thought, I haven’t slept with her in years—she really must be late. I’m going to be a father!

A day of birth is a joyful day.

I got my girlfriend knocked up. Next time I’ll ring the doorbell before I enter. I think we’re about to witness the birth of a new me.

Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.

I had a dream I took the form of Chuck Norris and kicked your ass. Then I impregnated you from across the room.

What did your mom say?””She said I better not be pregnant.”Janie snorts. “What the hell is wrong with our parents, anyway? Wait — you’re not, are you?” “Of course not! Sheesh, Janers! I may not...

I imagine you dream of me on the nights I dream of you. I’m always so confused by the platonic way we enjoy each other’s company. We talk about so many things that I can’t...

Sometimes I feel that our bright blue sky is like a pregnant women’s belly.

Sure. But it might take me a few tries to get you pregnant.

Raped at age nine by a relative and pregnant at 14 Oprah Winfrey,like many others have experienced the wickedness and brutality ofour society. Sadly, it’s an environment where blood lines no longerhold.

I tried to knock my wife up, but she’d only let me ring the doorbell. And she made me dress up like the pizza delivery boy while I rang.

But I cannot be worrying-worrying all the time about the truth. I have to worry about the truth that can be lived with. And that is the difference between losing your marbles drinking the salty...

I wish I listened through my urethra, because imagine how euphoric and orgasmic music would be. One love song might get you pregnant.

I was in way too deep. I was cut in so many places that I felt like I was bleeding out from every part of my body. Being outside and watching people live their normal...

I have been pregnant in so many movies it’s ridiculous.

Every birth comes out of labour pains. The most difficult task is not about being pregnant with visions; it’s about delivering an impact that inspires lives.