age is a state of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.

I’m sorry, but you just can’t fit fabulous into a backpack.

We have met the enemy and he is us.

Allow me to remove my headphones to listen to your bullshit.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, a sharpie must be plain deadly!

Galen punched his brother hard. “You bastard! You married and din’t tell me?”Bathymaas moved to blast him. Aricle stopped her. “I’ts alright my lady. That’s his normal reaction.””He needs to find another.” Bathymaas”How could you...

Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others

Let me guess,” Brynn said from across the room. “Another brother, right?”Keegan glanced at Brynn, who was staring at Ronin with an expression of disbelief. He switched back to English. “This is our younger brother,...

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting next to you saying, ‘damn, we fucked up’.

Unfortunately…I missed out on the California Gold Rush a century before…I’ll be dammed if I miss out on this one.

Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. They had three grown-up children, all...

The most important principle for self discovery and to taste success is rather than changing other’s attitude changes your own. And always remember same sun which melts the butter also hardens the clay

Life doesn’t walk away, we do.

Be simple in words, manners, and gestures. Amuse as well as instruct. If you can make a man laugh, you can make him think and make him like and believe you.

I’m past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I’d win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.

No one is normal. Everyone is just pretending to be normal.

My secret world of bosom sculpting is crashing down around me. I’m destined for bra-stuffing rehab in a distant boobicus minimus land. I just know it.

Leaning forward in the chair, Harley squeezed out a controlled fart, so no one could hear it. This damn reception area was like a echo chamber. If he weren’t careful, it could reverberate around the...

Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips.

I hope I know my own unworthiness, and that I hate and despise myself and all my fellow-creatures as every practicable Christian should.

My–? But I don’t… ew!

So I’m all, “Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you!” Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely. (I believe hip-hop to be the apprpriate language for taunting, at least until...

Felicity was horrible and snide, but then Felicity had been a repulsive earwig ever since she first grew a vocabulary.

The reefer butt is called a ‘roach’ because it resembles a cockroach… cockroach… cockroach…

Merry Christmas,” said George. “Don’t go downstairs for a bit.””Why not?” said Ron.”Mum’s crying again,” said Fred heavily. “Percy sent back his Christmas jumper.” [I guess that’s a sweater, though my jury is still out...

I’m OK with being single, but I’m not OK when the time comes where I have to move my furniture around and to change the high ceiling light balls…

Szépen vagyunk – mondta anya. (…) Egyetlen családtagunk büszkélkedhet normális párkapcsolattal, az is szociopata.

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

Seeing someone reading a book you love is seeing a book recommending a person

Why yes, have you tried aisle 7?

[…] for the philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his pipe, as was his custom in all broils, unless when he apprehended some danger of having it...

I don’t think I’m crazy, but then again, define crazy.

I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience.

Look, I wanted to mention something to you,” I said. Play it off as casual. Play it off as no big deal. Be cool.Her lips curled up in an amused smile. “Okay?””You know what a...

I take it that’s a yes?” Taylor asked.

Sorry about your bad luck.

That’s how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they’re looking’ to find poloponies.

Mr Kingsley begins then by exclaiming- ‘O the chicanery, the wholesale fraud, the vile hypocrisy, the conscience-killing tyranny of Rome! We have not far to seek for an evidence of it. There’s Father Newman to...

…as nervous as a bird in a coal mine.

We so need to work on your definition of relaxing.

The demon was turning out to be an unpredictable, feral, bone-and-head-collecting, sexually ravenous happiness battery. She swallowed. All I have to do is plug him in.

Wisdom of the Ages: “Government” Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.

Now, tomorrow Miss Laurie McCrae and me, we have an appointment with a sky pilot who will make it proper for us to travel in double harness.

Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away…Like a cookie for the soul…

Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things.

Prestidigitation? You’ve got to be joking. No one says that.

Lena was going down the list of John’s attributes in her mind, a list I was hoping wasn’t too long. “He could see and hear and smell things I couldn’t.”Link inhaled deeply, then coughed. “Dude,...

whatever you are be a good one

Everyone was going crazy, like they’d just witnessed the birth of Jesus and the invention of electricity at the same time. Jude was a rock star, their savior, and they were paying him homage.