It’s not what I’d want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. And then when the pretty women walk over my grave I would grab their...

The VoyagerWe are all lonely voyagers sailing on life’s ebb tide,To a far off place were all stripling warriors have died,Sometime at eve when the tide is low,The voices call us back to the rippling...

I cry at weddings, but not funerals. One’s a sad event, and the other a joyous one.

This stupidity of sounding a siren and speeding through traffic with a coffin must be an African speciality.

When someone you love dies, you are given the gift of “second chances”. Their eulogy is a reminder that the living can turn their lives around at any point. You’re not bound by the past;...

Funerals aren’t for the dead. They’re for the living.

A sea of red lights, and I slow down. My job now is to gather everyone together and tell them we have to let her go. I won’t tell anyone over the phone, because I...

Perspective is as simple as answering this question: If I had 5 months to live would I experience this problem differently?

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

So, my sweet, did it put the fun into funeral?

A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.

God helps everything come to pass. However, he reminds us that nothing comes to stay.

Elaborate burial customs are a sure sign of decadence.

Yes, it was a “beautiful” sermon, tugging the emotions and conjuring up pictures of greatness and peace. But were they talking about the decent peppery ordinary old man he knew, or had the subject strayed...

Funerals are for the living, Jace, not for the dead.

Death says a million words that the heart can’t pen.

I went on spouting bullshit Encouragements as Gus’s parents, arm in arm, hugged each other and nodded at every word. Funerals, I had decided, are for the living.

Perhaps because it seems so appropriate, I don’t notice the rain. It falls in sheets, a blanket of silvery thread rushing to the hard almost-winter ground. Still, I stand without moving at the side of...

Funerals aren’t scheduled.

People can act so nice, bringing you food and all, but in the end they are nothing but buzzards. Waiting to pick your bones.

The chief mourner does not always attend the funeral.

Republicans know well that a change of rhetorical pace is necessary. But efforts by their leaders to damp down the bellicosity of newly elected Tea Party types is running into the fact that the Tea...

Everyone was eating, talking softly, glancing at me, hugging me, eating. It was as if someone had turned the volume down. Everything looked normal, but the sound was muted. Death did this, set all this...

Sensei says funerals are not really for the dead. They are for those left behind. “The dead are long gone by the time a funeral is held,” he told us. “Who would wait when the...

Perhaps it was as well that she had been unconscious for four weeks. She had missed the aftermath, the SO-1 reports, the recriminations, Snood and Tamworth’s funerals. She missed everything…except the blame. It was waiting...

Death is a personal matter, arousing sorrow, despair, fervor, or dry-hearted philosophy. Funerals, on the other hand, are social functions. Imagine going to a funeral without first polishing the automobile. Imagine standing at a graveside...

Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.

I sprained my knee. I was Elbowing at the time. Elbowing is a new dance I invented for those random moments of romance that break out at funerals.

Saul took the sword and fell upon it.” –1Sam 31:4pg 75

There is a difference between saying goodbye and letting go. Goodbye is not permanent. You can meet years later as old friends and share what happened in your life. You can smile and laugh about...

Cinemascope is not for men, but for snakes and funerals.

Do you really think anyone needs some kind of notarized statement saying ‘Dear Saint Peter, here’s another stiff, pass him through the gates, signed, Father McGonnigill.’…’PS: He once had a hot dog on a Friday,...

All death reminds us that nothing is promised, only that life was worth it.

I never saw a dollar bill cry at anyone’s funeral.