If you didn’t do anything that wasn’t good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous. Have you noticed that? I’d...

She thought the jimster (Jack Daniels) would cure whatever was wrong with her- whatever made her feel like she was in a hall of mirrors, watching herself go through the motions of having a riotous...

Religion is a non-alcoholic man’s alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man’s religion.

It was one of those things they keep in a jar in the tent of a sideshow on the outskirts of a little, drowsy town. One of those pale things drifting in alcohol plasma, forever...

Civilization rests on two things,” said Hitzig; “the discovery that fermentation produces alcohol, and voluntary ability to inhibit defecation. And I put it to you, where would this splendidly civilized occasion be without both?

it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance

They’re professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don’t...

While I can’t walk on water, I can certainly wobble on whisky.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church pew, gets little enjoyment out of it and would rather do other things.

Trillian did a little research in the ship’s copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It had some advice to offer on drunkenness. “Go to it,” it said, “and good luck.

People drink alcohol as a whole, but alcohol makes a hole in the heart (for bleeding) and also a hole in the shirt (packet)(for squeezing money).

There was a kindliness about intoxication – there was that indescribable gloss and glamour it gave, like the memories of ephemeral and faded evenings.

Am I the only guy that holds a flute of champagne like it’s a musical instrument?

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

He poured this to the brim with good bourbon (Miss Elling knew it was good bourbon because she had helped herself to a snifter from the flask during his luncheon absence on her third day...

His abhorrence and fear of alcohol did not extend to his power as host. He kept a huge cupboard of drinks in the station house and loved to serve large measures to visiting relatives–especially those...

I know we promised Haymitch, we’d do exactly what they said, but I don’t think he considered this angle.’ ‘Where is Haymitch, anyway? Isn’t he supposed to protect us from this sort of thing?’ says...

I cannot trust my other side, my drunken side, to act in my best interests anymore.

Tobacco, coffee, alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine, are weak dilutions. The surest poison is time.

It began to falter not when the book publishers who loved books gave way to those who preferred profits to reading. It happened when publishers and editors cut back on their drinking. If there is...

That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and...

The social prestige of wine at table and at the club must be destroyed through lofty example and polite ridicule; forces which are not always available, and for whose successful operation much time will be...

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me.

People feel alcohol heals heart (diseases) but in theory, it peels the heart.

Love is two spirits occupying one bottle of spirit. You’ve got to be 21 to drink of me.

Stale beer sticks to wobbling tables. The cigarette machine flashes in the corner, mocking smokers who never have any change on them. There’s no natural light in this pub, so it’s dark and gloomy. The...

It was baking hot in the square when we came out after lunch with our bags and the rod-case to go to Burguete. People were on top of the bus, and others were climbing up...

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.

It wasn’t some Puritan thing. Straight-edge was asking adherents to take control of their lives, not to be blind consumers, and not to be tricked into thinking that drinking and drugs were cool since in...

You are dehydrated,” I said. “The result of alcohol taken in excess. But that is the only way to take it. It is the only way to do a man any good.

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

Afternoon drinkers shifted in the gloom as if they sensed new blood.

I see that a man cannot give himself up to drinking without being miserable one-half his days and mad the other.

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.

I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.

If we could all drink ourselves to innocence, I’d be guilty. And I mean that in a way that I don’t mean that.

My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank it all.

Alcohol helps you to loosen up to make memories you won’t forget, and then it helps you to forget them completely.

It starts raining harder, I’ve got a long way to go walking and pushing that sore leg right along in the gathering rain, no chance no intention whatever of hailing a cab, the whiskey and...

I’ve found, though, that people are more likely to share their personal experiences if you go first, so that’s why I always keep an eleven-point list of what went wrong in my childhood to share...

Alcohol, I had learned, was an eloquent if somewhat inaccurate interpreter. I had placed my trust that December night in glass after glass of it, eager not for drink but for a bit of talk.

Hard” cider is a twentieth-century term, redundant before then since virtually all cider was hard until modern refrigeration allowed people to keep sweet cider sweet.)

When a man is on the road to power he buys everyone a drink. Once elected he tries to close the saloons.

The best thing is the combined effect of nicotine with alcohol, greater than the sum of the two parts.

I never did drugs and I can’t really drink because I have zero tolerance for alcohol, so my vice became women. I was never faithful to most of them.

I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.

One of the cafés had that brilliant idea of putting up a slogan: ‘the best protection against infection is a good bottle of wine’, which confirmed an already prevalent opinion that alcohol is a safeguard...

writer’s block”. His name is Mr Johnnie Walker.