I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

Although people are so kind to alcohol, still alcohol makes them blind.

I drink coffee like an alcoholic drinks gasoline. You wouldn’t believe how many gallons my little car can hold.

I mulled over what he had told me as I savored the Scotch. Not bad, really — like a beer that’s been in a brawl.

There is more food in a pennyworth of bread than in a gallon of ale.

I find that when people laugh it’s usually because they’re connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn’t considered. That’s my payoff. I’m not interested in other people thinking differently. I don’t care. I’m...

Dell had left the army and taken the discipline home with him. I’d left the theatre world and taken the whisky sodas home with me.

Did Ida never look for him?” Dieter asks.”She didn’t believe in spirits.””And what became of Henry?””Oh. From time to time you can still hear him calling. My father heard his voice himself.””Every Saturday night when...

You’re walking down Fool’s Street, Laura used to say when he was drinking, and she had been right. He had known even then that she was right, but knowing had made no difference; he had...

I mean, that’s at least in part why I ingested chemical waste – it was a kind of desire to abbreviate myself. To present the CliffNotes of the emotional me, as opposed to the twelve-column...

I had never been a dresser. My shirts were all faded and shrunken, 5 or 6 years old, threadbare. My pants the same. I hated department stores, I hated the clerks, they acted so superior,...

Though at times interested in reforms, notably prohibition (I have never tasted alcoholic liquor), I was inclined to be bored by ethical casuistry; since I believed conduct to be a matter of taste and breeding,...

As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies.

Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it. I drank more and continued my mantra. ‘Stop thinking’, swig, ’empty your head’, swig, ‘now, seriously empty your head’.

Alcohol is good for killing microbes. It does mean that it also kills macrobes (human).

Alcohol is the motorcycle of beverages. Liver fast, die young.

I wish I had money now. If only I’d saved my allowance growing up, instead of squandering it on balls, balloons, booze, and floozies.

Far above him a few white clouds were racing windily after a pale gibbous moon. Drink all morning, they said to him, drink all day. This is life!

Love is alcohol.

I think that it is a great tragedy that a child can lose their mother, father, sister or brother, because you and I made a decision that getting loaded was more important than they are.

I am more afraid of alcohol than of all the bullets of the enemy.

Gordie, the white boy genius, gave me this book by a Russian dude named Tolstoy, who wrote, ‘Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.’ Well, I hate to...

This stage in the life of the buzz is truly fabulous. It’s not even a buzz anymore. It’s a roar. The world opens up and everything’s yours right there, right now. You’ve probably heard the...

Alcohol makes other people less tedious, and food less bland, and can help provide what the Greeks called entheos, or the slight buzz of inspiration when reading or writing. The only worthwhile miracle in the...

Chodź, napijemy się ginu. Oto prawdziwa odpowiedź na wszystkie parszywe problemy.

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

Irish I were I wish, so being drunk all the time would be socially acceptable.

My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.

Hemingway is overrated,Twain is even more lost at sea,And all truths point to the mouth of a woman,Where both her whispers and her screams,Are born.Pour another glass, Beer, wine, whiskey,I don’t care,So long as its...

Driving down deserted early morning roads. Round and round. Round downtown. Through naked streets. Lips pursed on two litre bottles of beer, but pursuing the lips of freedom’s night. Swapping cars. Winding up at karaoke...

But in college, we can wear our alcohol abuse as proudly as our university sweatshirts; the two concepts are virtually synonymous.

You are giving up nothing! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Dixon was alive again. Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way; not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay...

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

Mr Cobb was my escort. Such a nice escort, Mr Cobb. So attentive. You should see him sober. I should see him sober. Somebody should see him sober. I mean, just for the record. So...

Oh you dear companionsElectric bells of the stations song of the reapersButcher’s sleigh regiment of unnumbered streetsCavalry of bridges nights livid with alcoholThe cities I’ve seen lived like mad women(The Voyager)

Hit the bottom and get back up; or hit the bottle and stay down.

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

Take a drink because you pity yourself, and then the drink pities you and has a drink, and then two good drinks get together and that calls for drinks all around.

Alcohol is a crutch, for people with liquid legs. Our first date went swimmingly, like Michael Phelps mining for gold. 1849 just called me, and it wants its Levi’s jeans back. If you help with...

I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.

Alcoholics never win but always do sin.

A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the...

I drink because I wish to multiply my sufferings.

The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.

I dye my jeans jet black once a week, but they never seem dark enough. I bleach my hair bright white twice a month but it never seems light enough. I drink two and a...

Minimum sales prices for alcohol are a startlingly bad idea. As with excise duties, the effects are regressive.

Some seeksolace inwhiskey,I drown mysorrowsin ink.

The one conclusion I have reached is that whiskey is a great leveler. You might be a hotshot advertising executive or a lowly foundry worker, but if you cannot hold your drink, you are just...

How is it that everyone on this train has so much alcohol?””We always head to Canada at the beginning of the season,” she says taking her seat again. “Their laws are much more civilized. Cheers.