Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.

Have you ever been at a point that you don’t know what to say? But yet you came up with this crazy idea to type this.

Love is a four-letter word. So is glue, only it isn’t as sticky. And I must admit, I still eat it all the time.

I am the three minutes of 180 seconds, and I don’t do refills. I’m a lover, not a farmer.

Empty pockets full of empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I have for her. My heart burns with desire. My mouth also burns.

Last Sunday it was cloudy, and I thought, Who named this day? Then I thought, Why is there no Loveday? Naturally, It would follow Jarodday.

I pee in the sink, so I can save time by washing my hands at the same time that I am urinating. I’ll bet you’re wondering where my favorite place to make love is.

What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love.

…, and sometimes there’s just no point in arguing with him. “Yeah, okay ‘me, Jeff, and Evan, sitting in a tree…'”Chris claps his hands triumphantly. “That’s right, baby!” Than a more serious expression comes across...

Nationalism is a silly cock crowing on his own dunghill.

One does silly things when one is twelve.

They arrived home again to a most peculiar sight. The small garden at the front of the Banana House had been transformed. A tidal wave of cushions, beanbags, quilts, hearth rugs, and sleeping bags appeared...

Blood may be thicker than water, but it’s certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.

I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love.

This cheese is floppy!”- Erica Hung

I knitted a sweater to look like a swimming bird, and pretty soon the whole world looked like it tasted like duck soup. My love is coffee-shaped and without chug.

When love knocked at my door, I prayed to God and thanked Him for letting me live in a Porta-potty.

My car would look better with a mustache for a bumper. Then pedestrians would know that I am a superior lover, just before I hit on them.

I want her when she doesn’t want me, and I don’t want her when she wants me. Now that’s love in the 21st century!

…He was irritable with Orr, who had found two crab apples somewhere and walked with them in his cheeks until Yossarian spied them there and made him take them out. Then Orr found two horse...

I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.

Smartass Disciple: Three years! I’ve listened you preaching just for this silly truth?Master of Stupidity: Who said I was preaching? Who said anything about the truth?

I was dyslexic, so I was put in the silly class at school.

Turn a pot into a hat in one easy step: put it on your head. I make love with the same sort of culinary innovation.

I killed a man for his shoes, and then I realized his feet were much smaller than mine. So I walked around barefoot for a week, in honor of a man who died a senseless...

The remote isn’t broke—it just needs batteries. Well, it’s the same with my love.

Love is the walrus I crayon with like it’s the Eifel Tower. I know, love doesn’t make much sense to me, either.

I saw her from across the room, and I knew I was in love. I also knew why I’d seen no urinals, as I was clearly in the wrong bathroom.

There’s lots of love in Ocala. Must be something in the water. That’s probably why I have to pee so much.

I’m like a sexually active bumper sticker. Canned vagina is always so hard to open and eat. Honk if you’re a lover—and in a hurry.

To their eyes, I was love. To their ears, I was truth. To their noses, I was anus.

I like being absurd. Being silly.

or I’ll call you Fussy Pants, instead of Silly Pants!

Yay! I want to attend a Pampered Chef party about as much as I want to go to a used auto parts party where you can win a baby monkey as a door prize

For my sustenance at night,the whole that my hands can gleanfrom the gloom of the oak-gloomed oaks–the herbs and the plenteous fruits…

If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?

I have the Denver Omelet of accents. And considering I’m from Denver, it makes sense. Now if I also lived in Cheeseland (Wisconsin) it would make perfect, yummy sense.

Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.

Just as soon as I arrive I want to leave. Especially when I’m in love.

Women love a man in uniform. You should see them drool when I dress up in my Girl Scout outfit.

I’d dig a hole the size of the grand canyon to find a love the size of an acorn, and I’d use a shovel the size of a squirrel.

I need a tube-shaped bathtub, to play the tuba in. I make love like I make music—in a shower that’s in a phone booth that’s in 1981, the year before I was born.

Through my quick action, I was able to capture her mannerism and store it in a jar. It looks like mayonnaise, but it tastes like love.

Do you like my brother?” And there goes Dan’s confidence. He keeps his eyes resolutely on the field. “Uh… yes? I mean… I think everyone likes your brother, don’t they?” She leans over and gives...

Yes,’ he said sincerely. ‘Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.

Don’t be silly and don’t waste your time.

Seriously, it makes sense. He’s always tired and pale, and keeps himself away from people so he won’t bite them….Maybe that’s what he’s doing when he disappears. Getting his fix of blood.

He actually caught himself saying things like “Yippee,” as he pranced ridiculously round the house.

Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love.

I’ve been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.