BOLLOXIMIAN:My pleasures for new cunts I will uphold,And have reserves of kindness for the old.I grant in absence dildo may be usedWith milk of goats, when once our seed’s infused.My prick no more to bald...

The world is everything that is the case.” It seemed as though the Mammy≈Divas® were just like Steve Jobs, trying to have reality bent to their own wills. Objectively, the iPhone was a muddle of...

You can’t spell “parentry” without “try.” Of course, you’ll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make with your kids are the same ones your parents made with you. At...

Run. Flee. Fuck off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.

Life is too short to be complicated by rules, live it big

Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I’d know me anywhere.

Dunia memang sudah semakin tua. Entah sudah berapa milyar kali dia mengelilingi matahari sampai membuat isinya berbolak-balik tidak karuan. Sampai manusia lupa bahwa apa yang seharusnya dikatakan dan dilakukan malah terlupa untuk dipraktikkan sendiri.

As Samson demonstrated, going bald ruins lives.

She paused a moment.”Pepino, shall I tell all our dear friends our little secret?” she said. “If you say ‘no,’ I shan’t. But, please, Pepino–“Pepino, however, had been instructed to say ‘yes,’ and accordingly did...

A nose is ordinarily naked. A nose isn’t nipple, although there are similarities.

She said when a boy and a girl dog copulate, the head of the boy’s penis swells and the vaginal muscles of the girl constrict. Even after sex, both dogs remain locked together, helpless and...

Processions, meetings, military parades, lectures, waxwork displays, film shows, telescreen programs all had to be organized; stands had to be erected, effigies built, slogans coined, songs written, rumours circulated, photographs faked.

Ha, ha, ha, ah it’s been great chatting with you, too, Mr. President, and—”Reagan cocked his head slightly, smiled, and caught the eye of a minion; a moment later Romney had been deposited outside the...

Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won’t mistake it for the genuine article.

They see nothing indecent in sexual intercourse, whether heterosexual or homosexual, and indulge in it quite openly, in full view of everyone. The only exception was Socrates, who was always swearing that his relations with...

Profanazione del simbolo sacro.” Questo è quanto griderà la Cristianità. Sì, la Cristianità si agiterà. Può sentirmi accusato di mezzo milione di omicidi l’anno per vent’anni e mantenere la sua compostezza, ma profanare il Simbolo...

A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist.

Nothing can be more notorious than the calumnies and invectives with which the wisest measures and most virtuous characters of The United States have been pursued and traduced [By American Newspapers]

There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed...

Tobak Davenport, who is a cross between some Sugar Puffs and Lynn Faulds-Wood, was squatting there before being removed by the local constabulary after he went round to complain about Luther Blisset’s pet turkey fouling...

He was a boom boom shake the room ” kind of guy

I want to blow your mind away, Pakistan. With love Yours destructively, TTP

What does Mrs Preston want to go abroad for?’ asked Mr Leslie.’I think her doctor wanted her to, Father,’ said Agnes.’Doctors!’ said Mr Leslie, wiping the whole of the Royal College of Physicians off the...

On the doorstep Adele met Tony Limpsfield. She hurried him into her motor, and told the chauffeur not to drive on.”News!” she said. “Lucia’s going to have a lover.””No!” said Tony in the Riseholme manner”But...

The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know – for comedians are the caricatures among us.

It [being very rich] used to worry me, and I thought it wrong to have so many beautiful things when others had nothing. Now I realize that it is possible for the rich to sin...

The effort really to see and really to represent is no idle business in face of the constant force that makes for muddlement. The great thing is indeed that the muddled state too is one...

I believe in Supreme Being, a Creator, whoever he may be, it’s of no importance to me, who put us here on earth to do our duty as citizens and fathers; but I don’t need...

If they projected the fact that they are dangerous any harder, there would be little puddles of “danger” on the floor around them. Look, it’s “danger”, don’t step in it!

Oh, you’re hardly one to talk. Look where ogling a man got you.

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

Many moral advances have taken the form of a shift in sensibilities that made an action seem more ridiculous than sinful, such as dueling, bullfighting, and jingoistic war. And many effective social critics, such as...

Mass shootings are all part of a vast Left-wing conspiracy to undermine the 2nd Amendment and deprive your 6-year-old of his God-given right to bring a Bushmaster to class for “show and tell” … The...

Never so sure our rapture to createAs when it touch’d the brink of all we hate.

Makepeace.” As the quote shows, he disliked those who would not.

People keep making excuses, that’s why everthing happens for a reason.

He’s big as a fuckin’ house so I imagine it might be a bit of a problem.” The New Jersey accent that was still there after more than fifteen years in the south, resurfaced in...

I hope Marcus (giggle) is there. Maybe he can defeat the evil Cullens with his mighty battle cry, “I can see relationships!!!

Olga was better, in the sun, where he could see every pore in her skin. Get closer. Feel her next to him. It was all he wanted in the world. It was the last thing...

Attend to your Configuration.

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think.

Hell was full so i came BACK …….

…I could feel her burrowing into my heart. I didn’t know if the burrowing was like a kitten cuddling up to its mother or if it was like a chigger depositing its larvae underneath the...

,Qué otra cosa podía esperarse de los jóvenes universitarios en aquel entonces si hasta los que decían servir a la verdadera causa cultural y democrática del país eran hombres que arrastrarían su adolescencia mítica hasta...

You stick a bunch of drunken murderers together, ain’t long before some turn to thieving, then to lying, then to bad language, and pretty soon to sobriety, raising families and making an honest living.

Here you will meet singular side-whiskers, tucked with extraordinary and amazing art under the necktie, velvety whiskers, satiny whiskers, black as sable or coal, but, alas, belonging only to the foreign office. Providence has denied...

I was just trying to demonstrate to the students of Rowland University that Rowland University was not infinite. It had taken me a long time to figure out what the problem was, but one day...

All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don’t want to know what causes dew.

St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful...

High Maintenance; I don’t like to live in place that snows a lot, albeit I’d love to visit one. I won’t marry a super model, albeit date one.