… It’s perfect! Locke would appreciate it.””Bug,” Calo said, “Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate...

Look,’ said Cyrus, raising his knife again and pointing it at her. ‘Give me one reason why we shouldn’t kill your boyfriend over there. Come on. The dark scowling face is reason enough in my...

Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach; those who can’t teach, police grammar on the Internet.

AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON!” which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point...

I fended them off as best I could while trying to shield my eyes but, tragically, I’d left my flamethrower in my other suit.

…Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe–“”Indeed, sir! May I inquire who has the honour to be the first?” Asked Holmes, with some asperity.”To the man of precised, scientific...

I don’t believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are”.

Smile and make someone’s day better

It’s never too late to change, unless you’re already fully undressed

A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can’t help looking like...

I welcome reviews from all readers. I take criticism well; but please . . . no comments on my author face!

His manhood sways briefly, then comes to a standstill.

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.

If you want to find out if someone is a true bookworm or not, give them a thousand page novel and see what happens.

This little colloquy in Adele’s box was really the foundation of the secret society of the Luciaphils, and the membership of the Luciaphils began swiftly to increase. Aggie Sandeman was scarcely eligible, for complete goodwill...

I don’t suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

And then he heard Mad-Eye Moody’s voice, echoing in some distant chamber of his empty brain: Jump onto the desk . . . jump onto the desk. . . .Harry bent his knees obediently, preparing...

You look extremely young,” said Miss Nightingale….”Age isn’t really a matter of years, I find,” returned Phemie. “I know people twice my age who will never be as old as I am now.

And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before–and thus was the Empire forged.

mostly we’ve had to found ways to amuse ourselves.””Really?” Valkyrie asked. “Like what?”Plight’s smile faded. “Like human sacrifice.”He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.Then they both let go. laughing.”Naw,”...

I make mistakes, but I am on the side of Good,” the Golux said, “by accident and happenchance. I had high hopes of being Evil when I was two, but in my youth I came...

Do not mislead Perez Anna or malign the people who have sheltered you for over twenty years. We are not – what is the word for eaters of one another?””Capitalists,” said Anna.

New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

The world is not full of crazy ninja perfume ladies!

It’s not that I want to work for Williams-Sonoma, per se, it’s just that you guys have the money and I don’t.

Damoder climbed slowly to his feet. ‘Buy lot!’ he wheedled, ‘I am poor man. I sell you cheap. I am bank-Rupert! Apparently the only things that could save him from bank-rupertcy were our dollars.

Hi. I’m here to enlist.You can’t. You aren’t human.You see, little fella, we don’t do sociological stuff like “interspeciated workplaces.” We’re a crack company of space mercenaries. We do “hurting people” and “breaking things.”Sounds like...

She was nothing more than a mere good-tempered, civil and obliging Young Woman; as such we could scarcely dislike her — she was only an Object of Contempt

If i believe my truth is true and you believe your truth is true,what if my truth says yours is a lie.is it still true?

I don’t believe this,” Diesel said. “It just gets worse and worse. Bad I enough I have to play cupid to a butcher, button maker and veterinarian…now have to be sex therapist for a guy...

Susan hardly had begun to slow down when Tera appeared from between a couple of buildings and loped over to the car. I leaned forward, opened the door, and she got into the backseat. I...

Because any other female would!

If every vampire who said he was at The Crucifixion, was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock . . .

I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in...

Adam pressed his hand to his face. Sighed. “Right. It’s just that… He died. And I’m so freaking pissed off, I swear I’d punch him in the face if he were standing right here.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

I have a phonetic fetish. All I want is to find a man whose last name ends in ‘Vrski’ and marry him. Try saying VRSKI. Oh, don’t be a tight-ass. SAY IT. Don’t you love...

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them?

The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.

I’m not a detective from Baker Street or an old lady who solves crimes while she’s knitting in an easy chair. I’m just a book girl. So I can’t make a deduction, only take a...

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious.

Humanity, let us say, is like people packed in an automobile which is traveling downhill without lights at terrific speed and driven by a four-year-old child. The signposts along the way are all marked ‘Progress.

America takes her writers too seriously.

Mrs. P., if you value your life, you’ll go back inside and turn off the light right now.

May a man live well-, and long-enough, to leave many joyful widows behind him.

Maybe.

Formerly these harsh cells in which the discipline of the prison leaves the condemned to himself were composed of four stone walls, a ceiling of stone, a pavement of tiles, a camp bed, a grated...

Rockabye Baby, in the treetopDont you know a treetopis no safe place to rock?And who put you up there,and your cradle too?Baby,I think someone down herehas got it in for you!

Whoever thou art that, not content with a moderate condition, imaginest happiness in royal magnificence, and dreamest that command or riches can feed the appetite of novelty with perpetual gratifications, survey the Pyramids, and confess...