Then, if we really want our celestial neighbors to know how far we have progressed intelectually, we should have included pictures of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy

For the first time in memory, I was unable to sleep not because I was anxious but because I was excited. To live in a damp crowded asshole and sing–if these guys don’t know the...

Great we’re bloody inspired

Mister Dresden,” he said. “And Miss Rodriguez, I believe. I didn’t realize you were an art collector.” “I am the foremost collector of velvet Elvii in the city of Chicago,” I said at once. “Elvii?”...

Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.

We don’t have to be defined by the things we did or didn’t do in our past. Some people allow themselves to be controlled by regret. Maybe it’s a regret, maybe it’s not. It’s merely...

There ain’t no such thing as the devil that’s just god when he’s drunk.

I hope you aren’t planning to order me back to bed.””No, you have far too much crockery at your disposal.

After all, her motto is “Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Everything is funny from some angle, I assure you it is. It’s just a matter of where you’re standing.

Deambular no significa andar sin rumbo, sino andar con todos los rumbos.

Google is so my bitch

In an angry fit, my mother had called him an airhead, who couldn’t find his brain even if it came knocking on his door.

I stressed out trying to figure out what I could say. I ate licorice. I stressed some more. I ate Dots. I stressed out even more-and wiped out a bag of Swedish Fish. And then...

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

…when we perfect 3-D copiers and they reproduce tissue, we’ll have a million Marilyns walking around with no souls…

figthting for peace is like fucking for verginity

Actually it’s this easy to explain: When your time’s up…poof…your time is up!

Creí que eras de oro, pero eres insoportable.

If the road to success was easy. everybody would be on it.

The good news and the bad news are the same: No one cares!

Because you may be smart, but I’ve been smart longer

Girls have got balls. They’re just a little higher up, that’s all.

Life is like a gameStart, Progress, Retry, Gameover

When you focus on the positive, the blessings and the humor and just do your thing and you stop worrying SO much about what every one else is thinking and doing and STOP taking life...

A loud smile is often a fake laugh.

The most hilarious person ever is God

If your a fly, fly away

Wouldn’t it be great if life was only Legos? If we could give our kids the right, simple building blocks?

We can beat our swords into plowshares, and we can beat our plowshares into swords, but as far as computers go, a hammer can only change the shape of the junk, not it’s function.

I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.

I broke my arm in 3 places so I wont be going back to those places.

Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.

You can’t just go and smash whatever you deem fit!

You can please some of the people some of the time, others you can please once in a while and still others you can’t please any of the time, but if you only strive to...

Painting working!

If you can’t impress them with your personality, baffle them with your bullsh**

(On her son) I’ve met writer’s block. He is short, diapered and keeps unplugging my laptop. Good news: he can be conquered with a bottle and a nap.

She’ll read your mind like nobody’s business.

I hadn’t gone to one dance in my entire high schoolcareer. I was six foot tall and a hundred and twentypounds. When I danced, I looked like a praying mantison fire.

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

Why sadness was created?So we could rest from laughing.

Your mind is just like parachute ! if you don’t open it, it won’t work !

If I behave like a good boy and take my Prozac…then I won’t be able to write anymore. I’ll have Writer’s block from not being able to communicate with the characters in my mind.

The patient has no limits, only the devil who say that the patient is limited

Regret is good. It proves you have a conscience.

Don’t get old; there is no future in it.

I didn’t fall, the stairs of SL just needed a hug OKAY!

Change is not a four letter word…but often your reaction to it is!

Yeah, Mel! If she shoves you again, smack her in the face!” bellowed Mika.Kira glared at Mika. “I mean, beat her in the race!