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Humor-Inspirational  Quotes
I hadn’t gone to one dance in my entire high schoolcareer. I was six foot tall and a hundred and twentypounds. When I danced, I looked like a praying mantison fire.

—Justin Halpern

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Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

—Mark Twain

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Why sadness was created?So we could rest from laughing.

—Nelson M. Lubao

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Your mind is just like parachute ! if you don’t open it, it won’t work !

—Tom Evans

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If I behave like a good boy and take my Prozac…then I won’t be able to write anymore. I’ll have Writer’s block from not being able to communicate with the characters in my mind.

—Timothy Pina

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People think that the word “class” involves the color black, wearing Chanel No. 5 and carrying a Louis Vuitton. The word “class” and “classy”, to me, mean what happens when you are able to be...

—C. JoyBell C.

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Regret is good. It proves you have a conscience.

—J.R. Young

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Don’t get old; there is no future in it.

—CL Gammon

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I didn’t fall, the stairs of SL just needed a hug OKAY!

—Lyza Matociños

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Change is not a four letter word…but often your reaction to it is!

—Jeffrey Gitomer

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Yeah, Mel! If she shoves you again, smack her in the face!” bellowed Mika.Kira glared at Mika. “I mean, beat her in the race!

—Katie Mattie

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Do unto others as you’d have KARMA do unto you! Stop thinking in terms of “What’s in it for me?” and more in terms of “What’s in it for the greater good?”!

—Tanya Masse

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The more I know mankind, the more I love mt dogs.

—Unknown Author

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Those with all the answers have not asked enough questions.

—Belva Rae Staples

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Back off, Jack-I got four brothers protecting my ass,’ and I just rode on by him

—Elizabeth Gilbert

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The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I’m kidding. But killing helps.

—Douglas Coupland

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It is very queer that the unhappiness of the world is so often brought on by small men. They are so much more energetic and compromising than the big fellows.

—Erich Maria

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Appreciate youthfulness and empathize with elderly people.

—Lailah Gifty Akita

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Prayer works (unless God has a different plan for you, that is different than what you want). Pray now. It works best if God is undecided.

—Juanita Ray

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Life is a banquet and most poor s.o.b.’s are starving to death.” Auntie Mame

—Patrick Dennis

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History, of course, is never real. People either glorify it or horrify it. Or at the very least color it.

—Paula Wall

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Life is like Tyra Bank’s left breast. It’s not right it’s not fair & still people loves it for what it is.

—Yatin Patel

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Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.

—Benjamin Franklin

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Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers

—Eoin Colfer

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Women; the supreme masters of the bait and switch.”D’Artagnan Bloodhawke

—

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No, you just keep polishing your fangs or whatever you guys do in there.

—Jayde Scott

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No matter where life takes me, you’ll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing like a child. I never thought life could be this sweet! It’s got me cheesing from cheek...

—Mac Miller

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If someone wanted to have a grudge against me, or didn’t agree with my lifestyle, the way I breathed, the space I took up on this planet, they had an open door to ‘report’ to...

—Mark Alders

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Orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam hanya bisa, seperti yang mereka selalu lakukan, jatuh cinta sendirian

—Raditya Dika

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Your mind is just like a parachute ! if you don’t open it, it won’t work !

—Tom Evans

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No one has ever seen a Brink’s truck delivering money into a cemetery…so enjoy your life, while you still can!

—Timothy Pina

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Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He’s gotta pick this one. He’s got to. I don’t see how a pumpkin patch can be...

—Charles M.

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Girls find it rather fun to tease my about my height and the joy I find in the games boys play. Please. I could find a lot of things to say about their stupid makeup...

—Halina

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My favorite sport is female and my favorite food is beer.

—Glen Cook

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This town, this country, this world, is full to the brim with clever people, and just look at it. Never been in such awful shape. Clever people don’t give a damn about anybody but themselves....

—Jon Steele

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When you get kicked in the teeth, chew on it: don’t bite back.

—K.C. Rhoads

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Be happy, for what you have today; for yesterday you were PRAYING for it.

—Nikhil Anubhav

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Abracadabra, moron.

—Sarah Rees

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If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you’re going to be cockeyed today.

—Unknown Author

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Cowok itu jarang nulis. Sekalinya iya, ada dua kemungkinan :a. Langsung bagus dan jadi dewa (macamnya Kak Fauzi : dua dari dua buku yang aku beli mengesankan ^^. Sayang Genere Fantasy enggak dilirik orang kebanyakan)b....

—Alia Rohaluss

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Holy ripened fuckcheese!

—Christopher Moore

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Anak muda jaman sekarang, gonta ganti pasangan segampang ganti celana dalam.

—Eka Prasetyani

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Obviously, she doesn’t subscribe to the “I can only eat salads in front of the opposite sex” rule of thumb a lot of chicks swear by. Who gave women that idea? Like a guy’s going...

—Emma Chase

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…once you’ve crawled into what’s commonly thought of as the sordid underbelly of life, you realize it’s all just different versions of normal.

—Josh Kilmer-Purcell

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I was so jealous. I could compete against a dragon in a ‘breathing fire contest.

—Kalyani Rao

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Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That’s when parents know the least and care the most, so they’re more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they’re...

—Orson Scott

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It’s not how you look, it’s how you feel in the dark

—Paula Wall

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Let the only things higher than the airplanes in the sky, be the stories that I tell to others and the castles that i build for myself.

—Rishi Piparaiya

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If people were Superior to Animals, they’d take better care of the world

—Benjamin Hoff

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Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had jumped to reach the button, but that was undignified behavior for a millionaire....

—Eoin Colfer

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