Charity groped for the phone, coming up with it at last and croaking “hello” in a voice that sounded exactly like a bullfrog’s mating call. Which made a kind of twisted sense — last night...

I could kiss that girl. And ya know what? I will kiss that girl. As soon as I get back to school, I’m gonna grab her, and I’m gonna kiss her.

After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It’s a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.

I got stood up. I wasn’t mad, because at the time I was in a wheelchair.

We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling.

He looks good for a while, but ya know, ya can’t shine a sneaker.

I just hope the woman I invited over to dinner shares our insightful perspective.

Tell her that you love her hair, that you love her skin, her lips, because, in truth, you love them more than you love your own.

Just because I am queer doesn’t mean I am queer for you

It could be why you’re still single.

Leave my dad out of this.

Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend’s prayer because she’s asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship.

If I have to explain it…

I just remember that there were a couple of times I was dating somebody for a relatively long period of time, and by the time New Year’s came around and made its way to Valentine’s...

When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she...

Women who do not play hard to get are hard to get.

Had Zach just apologised for kissing her? She didn’t know whether to cry or slap his face. ~Maddie

Until YOU get enough of what you’re going through, no matter what advice a person gives you, you’ll continue to go through the same thing. When you get the courage to stop making excuses for...

I’m not the settling-down type, I’m afraid. I think I’m cursed with a touch of Dating ADD.

just like you did”. (It won’t work if you snigger at this point.)

It wasn’t because you weren’t beautiful, talented, funny, creative or had everything in common. It was because some men prefer plain vanilla ice cream. It’s predictable and a safe choice. Confident and adventurous men prefer...

You will always be left with how you feel about other people, if you don’t just take in the way you think and tell them how you feel about them.

I think there’s something incredibly sexy about a woman wearing her boyfriend’s T-shirt and underwear.

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a...

I know your faults, I know you’re going to do some things I hate, I know the person you are now is not the person you want to be. However, I know the person you...

I did it again. Lying guilty in a hotel room for a woman I will fail for.

Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life.

I rewired my brain. Now every time I feel disappointment I orgasm. So go on a date or get stood up, either way I’ll cum.

One o’ clock. With her fork she would tantalize the heart of an adoring artichoke, while her escort served himself up in the thick, dripping sentences of an enraptured man. Four o’clock: her little feet...

I’m always looking for meaningful one-night stands

Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.

The One.” Sometimes a girl just wants to have fun.

I’d felt this before, when my granddad was in the hospital before he died. We all camped out in the waiting room, eating our meals together, most of us sleeping in the chairs every night....

Go to the Winter Dance with me.

Sometimes we assume that the new person in our life is better for us because they are totally different from the last person we dated. Only later do we see that we have chosen a...

After that, I’d wanted to date, but I simply didn’t know how. It seemed to come natural to everyone else, pairing up and going out. And now, well, I felt like a nonparticipant, like there...

He won’t say no, but who cares if he does? Do it. Hell, guys go through this every time they make a move on a woman, and none of them has died yet. In many...

I believe with all my heart that the cliches are true, that we are our own best friends and best company, and that if you’re not right for yourself, it’s impossible to be right for...

Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having.

Dating isn’t a natural need; it is a social want.

Stop making a relationship about what you get and start making it about what you give, for what you give is what you’ll get in return.

The notion that women shouldn’t care about personal success — or the work that gets them there — is disengenuous; it is impossible for women not to have jobs anymore, so it doesn’t make sense...

Frankly though, bud, your criteria for what constitutes a good date is kinda skewed, if you ask me. Homemade cookies are overrated man — trust me on this. You can find a decent bakery just...

Never let your fear of the unknown and things being too difficult make your choices for you in life. One of the saddest lessons in life is finding out that your fear made the situation...

This time, Fusako was able to express herself with fluency and candor. The bold letters she had been writing week after week had granted her an unexpected new freedom.

When love is new, it’s brighter than the sun and 30 times as great as the force of the atomic bomb dropped and felt from your heart, but to some people it will slowly fade...

Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.

Love is a two-way game, you cannot truly love one who does not love you, and neither can you force them to love you, better look past the hurtful deeds and search for the one...

All in all, the lunch date was fine. Like an opened can of soda in its second hour. If you were thirsty, you might take a sip or two, but I carried more hopes walking...

A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told...