For a while. Minus the singing.

She had thought he was dead, or at least not totally alive, and you could not still be dating someone you believe had an autopsy, so it was not really cheating.

Some women like to treat a man like a piece of bubble gum. The poor sap thinks everything’s fine. And it is—until the taste runs out. Then she’ll just spit him out the car window...

Never love someone beneath your level of evolution. If you want a monkey, you can visit one at your local zoo.

Love with your whole heart, and never be sorry you did.–tdf

The thought of being completely dependent disturbs people till the moment their eyes are opened to reality.

True respect means accepting someone and honoring his or her thoughts and feelings.

I don’t understand dating.. and the other things that people do.. all I know is that you ought to find the one you recognize. The one who gives you four arms, four legs, four eyes,...

I’ve sequenced the questions for maximum speed of elimination,’ I explained. ‘I believe I can eliminate most women in less than forty seconds. Then you can choose the topic of discussion for the remaining time.’...

It is easier to lie to yourself than hear others tell you that tell you that you are a fool.

Don’t turn a good dude who is loyal to his chick into a bad nigga by throwing yourself at him when he is already committed. Know when to stay the hell away.Good men are rare....

I booked a table for two at a five-star restaurant. Rebecca couldn’t make it, because at the last minute I backed out of asking her.

I’d be pretty embarrassed if I met my girlfriend through speed dating.

Your profile said beautiful. You kind of overreached on that one.

We kissed, and sparks went off in my chest. At the end of the night he said, ‘I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering if I’ll call tomorrow. I’ll do better than that.’ He called...

If a man WANTS to be with you, he will make his actions clear. There won’t be any questions, murkiness, cloudiness, or fear.

As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, disposable-everything American culture…Love and romance became things people could solely enjoy for their recreational value.

Were you not aware high school dances suck? That they always have sucked and they will continue sucking as long as the world turns?

Fellowship” is a Christianspeak for “flirt with unsuccessfully”.

Sooo, I’m tired of people thinking I’m a freak. I know you can’t relate to that but -“”Get over it already, will ya?” Candace stood. “You’re not Smellody anymore. You’re pretty. You can get hot...

There are a lot of things wrong with this particular approach to getting your girlfriend to agree to reenter a relationship with you. Probably the biggest problem is that it’s a PowerPoint presentation.

Some people will only value what they HAVE when it becomes what they HAD

A broke man’s lover doesn’t feel ‘loved’ on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine’s Day.

A love triangle is a threesome delayed.

Hey, if you’d wanted to avoid ‘this,’ you shouldn’t have lured me last night. Now it’s too late. You might as well avoid the long, drawn-out pain and get it over with quickly. Sort of...

Don’t date anyone you can’t see yourself marrying.

Maybe some poor slob would take you to bed if you weren’t such a ballbuster.

It is better to stay single and wait for the one that makes sense then to marry someone that makes absolutely no sense. The moment you settle is when the one person that makes all...

If my ex-husband could move on, I could, too. I would search for my gardener, someone who would help me to grow and bloom, but who would recognize the fragility of a new flower just...

I have a strict moral code. I don’t share penises with friends.

Sabine used to maintain that preparation for a dance is comparable to what goes on in the back room of a butcher’s shop: the meat for consumption is sliced and dressed and put in nice...

I’ve always had a thing for Carmyn Rafferty. She carries herself as a reserved and proper woman, but I see a tension in her. A slight glitch in some of her movements lets me know...

A woman should be mindful that the key to one man’s heart does not necessarily fits into the lock of another.

Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid...

I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat’s litter box. Ah,...

At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women.

Tommy asks where Carolyn is.”She’s at Cindy’s.””They live together now,” Salvador added.”Didn’t they just start dating?” Tommy asked.Tiger answered, “Yeah… A couple of WEEKS ago.”Unhappy about the news, Tommy objects to Carolyn moving in with...

This is what dating is like, I thought, this horrible mix of boredom and fear and humiliation and confusion.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you’re going on a date.

While some dating sites use targeted discounting strategies to improve their conversion rates, we take a different approach, focusing on privacy technologies.

He’s hurting and it’s not just the Quinn thing. It’s being away from you and wondering if you’re hurting, too. Or if you’re having too much fun to hurt. What he really needed was to...

All of the emotions that hit people at times like these, all of them, were coursing through us both like a secret we couldn’t tell. Because if we said everything we were thinking and feeling...

The three of you were pretty cute last night, with all that touchy-feely crap.””Yeah, that lasted for about two minutes before you dragged Evan back over to the bar.””Dude, we were hunting Turkey. [drinking bourbon]...

I like letting people in on the process. When we did a speed-dating scene, we hired all these hilarious women … and let them go off on Steve. … If something’s funny, I hate for...

What exactly does that expression even mean? An ass that won’t quit? Think about the primary function of an ass—I’d think that’s the sort of thing you might want to quit.

When we reach our highest potential, we will find our highest love.

Huge biceps are an unattractive-uneducated-underpaid man’s last attempt to be seen as worthy of dating, or, sleeping with.

Dating is a man-made ideology: if having a lover was a prerequisite to living, one would either be in a relationship, or, six feet under.

People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged and in pain.

Sometimes it’s not that you “fell out of love” it’s that you finally came to the realization that you were never truly “in love” to begin with.