I have a list of pet names for Cap’n so long that it could fill a phone book (if the phone book is for a town with a population of four). I call him Cap’n...

Love is like walking while riding a bicycle. It’s pretty hard to do when you’re curled up like a cat, sleeping in a wheelchair.

To keep my cat from drinking out of the toilet, I could close the toilet lid, I could close the bathroom door, or I could pull my straw out of the water and stop setting...

Women are still cats and birds. Or at the best, cows.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go to sleep, I have this particular fantasy I indulge in. Most men dream about naked women, but...

My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves.

Every sacrifice I make is for the good of my Clan—and for the other Clans around the lake. Even if that means sacrificing myself.

It’s very difficult to handle the cats when they are feral, but to choke and stretch an animal and stick a needle into their stomach is not very humane.

I’m more curious to know what a cat think than what a philosopher thinks.

Wife wants to see Cats, don’t know why, she?s allergic to them.

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets.

Snowball?”It’s white.”Meow.”It’s so girly.”This from a guy who named his poodle Princess.”his laughter died. “How do you know about Princess?”Your sister told me.

Nothing snubs quite like a cat. What evolutionary purpose did it serve, this inherent disdain, this artful blanking?

Never try to outstubborn a cat.

But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,And that is the name that you never will guess;The name that no human research can discover–But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.When you...

Cats have it all – admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it.

The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree.

My house is run, essentially, by an adopted, fully clawed cat with a mean nature.

Honestly I don’t know why i have these parties””Because of your cat””That’s true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort

In the morning, when she wishes me to wake, she crouches on my chest, and pats my face with her paw. Or, if I am on my side, she crouches looking into my face. Soft,...

One cat in a house is a sign of loneliness, two of barrenness, and three of sodomy.

I need to take an exfoliating bath. Prepare the kittens’ tongues.

I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat’s litter box. Ah,...

There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.

I wanted to make her a greeting card, but as far as I got was folding the paper in half. I left it blank inside, so she’d know how much I love her. I never...

You can call me Dances With Cats. I’m like Dances With Wolves, only meowier.

Me dan miedo los gatos blancos porque son igual de malos que los gatos negros, pero no hay manera de mirarlos y que no te apetezca acariciarlos.

Snuggling is an art. And I’m no Rembrandt—I’m a cat. I am pure cuddling genius.

Abyssinias”I met a traveler from an antique landWho said: A huge four-footed limestone formSits in the desert, sinking in the sand.Its whiskered face, though marred by wind and storm,Still flaunts the dainty ears, the collar...

Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still only a whisker away from the wilds.

AC/DC is very easy to miao along to!

What do you mean “Ewww”?How is my tuna breath worsethan peanut butter?

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Clear clutter. Make space for you.

Desire, problem solving, and communication are all signs of intelligence and awareness. My cat has these, so it’s quite possible he has a soul too.

But there was a kitten on my pillow, and it was purring in my face and vibrating gently with every purr, and, very soon, I slept.

I am what I am. I would tell you what you want to know if I could, for you have been kind to me. But I am a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave...

Cats never listen. They’re dependable that way; when Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time.

Once [a cat] has given its love, what absolute confidence, what fidelity of affection! It will make itself the companion of your hours of work, of loneliness, or of sadness. It will lie the whole...

Majid gave me a brief dazzling golden stare and then half-lidded his eyes again. I know when my life is being threatened.

The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself.

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because the water is cold in there. And I’m like, how did my mother know that?

When you have cat stealers over for tea, you clean the house, buy bagels and cream cheese, and try to figure out how to trap your guests in a lie.

What greater gift than the love of a cat.

I hated cats. I was a dog lover,” Des says with a shrug. “What’s the point of a cat? They’re not affectionate. But that’s because it’s not my cat. I mean, your wife wouldn’t jump...

The cat . . . is for the man who appreciates beauty as the one living force in a blind and purposeless universe.

Dotyk łapki leczy lepiej niż aspiryna.

My name is Two Dogs Wink While Chewing. It’s not an Indian name, nor one that reflects my cat-loving nature.

I yelled at my cat to knock it off, and sure enough, he did. And it broke.