His voice gave out and he made several wavy motions with his hand, indicative of the shape of a woman who would probably be unable to keep her balance.

I don’t want unnecessary violence, sergeant,” said Blouse.”Right you are, sir!” said the sergeant. “Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin’, I want him nailed to the wall!” He caught the lieutenant’s eye, and...

The fact was that, as droves of demon kings had noticed, there was a limit to what you could do to a soul with, e.g., red-hot tweezers, because even fairly evil and corrupt souls were...

He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape’s eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were...

Me parece que no lo entiendes. Las vidas de las personas pasan por delante de sus ojos antes de que mueran, y el proceso se llama ‘vivir’. ,Te apetece un camarón?

Er, why do you need to work in a dark room, though?” he said. “The imps don’t need it, do they?””Ah, zis is for my experiment,” said Otto proudly. “You know zat another term for...

It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren’t the people the people who made up the phrase “people are people everywhere” had traditionally thought of as people.

Then Cheery Littlebottom had arrived in Ankh-Morpork and had seen that there were men out there who did not wear chain mail or leather underwear, but did wear interesting colors and exciting makeup, and these...

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

The neck in front of her came up. The head swivelled 180 degrees and the horse looked at Kin with bright insectile eyes.’YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND,’ it said inside Kin’s head.’Hell!”THOSE ARE NOT MEANINGFUL...

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it’d save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it – philosopically speaking – make a noise?

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved...

In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She’d much prefer to read a good book.

Anyone with half a mind could see that,” said Tiffany.Miss Tick sighed. “Yes. But sometimes it’s so hard to find half a mind when you need one.

You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.

Gods don’t like people not doing much work. People who aren’t busy all the time might start to think.

War, Nobby. Huh! What is it good for?” he said. “Dunno, Sarge. Freeing slaves, maybe?””Absol—well, okay.” “Defending yourself against a totalitarian aggressor?””All right, I’ll grant you that, but—””Saving civilization from a horde of—” “It doesn’t...

You’d like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn’t you, Comrade Sergeant?’ said Reg encouragingly.’I’d like a hard-boiled egg,’ said Vimes, shaking the match out.There was some nervous laughter, but Reg looked offended.’In the circumstances, Sergeant, I...

He had never been interested in stories at any age, and had never quite understood the basic concept. He’d never read a work of fiction all the way through. He did remember, as a small...

He shrugged. – They’re just people – he said. – They’re just doing what people do. Sir.Lord Vetinari gave him a friendly smile.- Of course, of course – he said. – You have to believe...

Lots of people in history have only done their jobs and look at the trouble they caused

That’s what’s so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you’re so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and...

We’re living in science fiction, but we don’t realize it.

Tiffany has been apprenticing as a witch by visiting people in need with her mentor. After meeting with one particularly sad case, she tells her mentor, “It shouldn’t be like this.” Her mentor replies, “There...

She waited with Billy Slick while Carrot went on the errand, and for something to say, she said, ‘Billy Slick doesn’t sound much like a goblin name?’ Billy made a face. ‘Too right! Granny calls...

It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.

It doesn’t stop being magic just because you know how it works.

The games we play are lessons we learn. He assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

And then there was the much spoken of lock-up. It looked like a giant pepperpot built of stone. A flowering creeper grew up it, and, next to the door and restrained by a chain, there...

A streak of green fire blasted out of the back of the shed, passed a foot over the heads of the mob, and burned a charred rosette in the woodwork over the door.Then came a...

Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it.

I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on....

Wizards don’t believe in gods. They didn’t deny their existence, of course. They just didn’t believe. It was nothing personal; they weren’t actually rude about it. Gods were a visible part of narrativium that made...

At last the magic caught, and she managed to vault clumsily onto it before it trundled into the night sky as gracefully as a duck with one wing missing.

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment. Elves are terrific. They beget...

You can’t trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink

This book was written using 100% recycled words.

I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

Anyway, lots of warrior tribes think that when they die, they go to a heavenly land somewhere,” said the toad. “You know, where they can drink and fight and feast forever? So maybe this is...

I never said nothing… I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You’ve got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn’t dead!

When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow’s-point- of-view is seldom necessary.

Now … if you trust in yourself … and believe in your dreams … and follow your star … you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and...

And I’m made up of everyone I’ve ever met who’s changed the way I think. So who is “me”?

It’s rude to stare,” said the troll. Its mouth opened with a little crest of foam, and shut again in exactly the same way that water closes over a stone. “Is it? Why?” asked Rincewind....

Making money is good, but there’s no pockets in a shroud.

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN’T SAVED HIM?”Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?”NO”Oh, come on. You can’t expect me to believe that. It’s an astronomical fact.”THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE...