God exists. He has one wicked since of humor, and right now he’s having a grand old time punking the planet.

Immortality was overrated, as far as he was concerned. Hardy had enough problems as it was; living forever sounded like a death sentence for someone with his practical sensibilities.

I move closer to the glass, as close as I can get to it, begging her, begging Lily, begging Grace, begging all of them to tell me what’s left, to just tell me, while the...

He’s a ghost, not a carnival magician.-Benny Imura

But no matter what happens to the surviving humans, there will always be the walking dead.

Whoever eats my flesh & drinks my blood has eternal life” John 6:54 He was CLEARLY talking to Zombies & Vampires

Because you took too long. If you’d done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn’t have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated.

Guh” from a fisherman caught in surprise on Lake Simcoe. The echoing coves of the lake added a sort of meter, and by the time these sounds arrived in Gravenhurst, the people there were certain...

His red eyes swung in my direction. Without a second glance, he released the dead man’s body. It hit the ground with a loud thump, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. He...

I have to get stronger, harder, and faster. The only way to get hard enough to walk the Apocalypse Road is in the crucible of battle.

When asked what profession they like least, most people will give the obvious answer: clowns.

I think I remember what love was like before. There were complex emotional and biological factors. We had elaborate tests to pass, connections to forge, ups and downs and tears and whirlwinds. It was an...

I hate zombies.I know that sound prejudiced. I’m sure some zombies are really nice to kittens and love their parents. But it’s been my experience that most are not the kind of people you want...

My family has a Christmas tradition: Every year, they kill my mom.

Mimicque—zombies—can only be killed with an iron or obsidian blade, so don’t think you can just act like the wrestler El Santo in the 1970s film El Santo Versus the Mummies of Guanajuato. If a...

Nine years ago I was alive. Nine years ago Jessica Anne Porter was fifteen years old.

And to those who would choose the safety of inaction over the danger of taking a stand, I have this to say:You bloody cowards. May you have the world that you deserve.

Heart condition? That’s rich. I guess you can call a heart not beating a condition.-PJ

Not too bad, reminds me of some kind of meat dip, best if you close your eyes and pretend it’s something else.

Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.

Somewhere deep inside, his humanity had been shaken by something so unnatural, so foreign in its essence, his very being withdrew from it…

I wasn’t the only one hungry on the road, it seemed; a single bite—even a minor scratch—from one of the infected, and we were as good as dead. (And so the cycle repeats.)

If a responsible, mentally sound American wants to own and AR-15, that’s their right. Besides, when the zombies come…okay, you don’t like the zombie thing. When the Chinese invade our country, who do you want...

She hugs me. It’s tentative at first, a little scared, and yes, a little repulsed, but then she melts into it. She rests her head against my cold neck and embraces me. Unable to believer...

If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie.

I’ve never really had time for romantic relationships. I have much more important things to worry about, like saving the world from zombies.

Which got me to wondering whether it’s possible to learn how to be a person in a world where all the people are dead.

Because I’m not really certain she’d make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.

You mean she saw his next meal.

She sticks to the rules, because it’s all she’s got. It’s like her feelings dried up and they were replaced with a pile of useless laws. Like my appendix. Don’t know what I need it...

Make the most of your life. You only live once. Unless of course the event of a zombie apocalypse!

I could see the bay in the distance and where the ship should have been. Instead we found a burnt mast protruding from the waves.

When it’s my time, and the reaper calls my name, there will be no stink of fear on me, and my only wish will be to die with grace, covered in the blood of my...

It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.

We don’t go in for that psychodynamic stuff around here. Those guys will talk you to death, clean out your bank account while they are doing it, and then invite you to come back and...

This is the part in the movie where that guy says, “Zombies? What zombies?” just before they eat his brains. I don’t want to be that guy.

Hippos are the very definition of Disney cute. There is no way you could look at a big, fat, squishy, huggable hippo and not think, “Id she could talk like a human, she would sound...

Each time a girl approached the table, Mortimer would smile. Like this: And each time the girl would shriek and run away.

The truth was, neither the Central Intelligence Agency nor any of the other official and unofficial U.S. intelligence organizations have ever been some kind of all-seeing, all-knowing, global illuminati. For starters, we never hand that...

Where did you find that one?””I have no idea. I’m a magnet for crazies, I guess.””They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.””Your one to talk. Don’t you have more hordes of the undead...

Why don’t you check out those teenagers in the middle row? They’ve been going at it like dogs in heat ever since the previews. They’re probably both werewolves. And even if they aren’t, you should...

Tony, Tony,come around, something’s lost that can’t be found.

People could say a lot of negative things about the apocalypse, but there was no arguing the air quality in Los Angeles had really improved.

I promise not to hurt you, unless you try to take my shit. Then I’ll twist your head off and hide it in a bush somewhere.

This is why it is important never to pick or smell flowers, and to always wear headgear when admiring them.

I’m watching her talk. Watching her jaw move and collecting her words one by one as they spill from her lips. I don’t deserve them. Her warm memories. I’d like to paint them over the...

Mark Spitz had met plenty of the divine-retribution folks over the months. This was their moment; they were umbrella salesmen standing outside a subway entrance in a downpour. The human race deserved the plague, we...

What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds like my wife in bed.

No, but I like to hear it.” She smiled back at him with a smile that illuminated her face. She did like to hear it. She hadn’t know Nico for very long, but there was...