He looked groggy, and he told me he didn’t get any sleep, so I handed him a cat, because that’s like extra sleep right there.

We need more upright citizens in this country. Everybody is just lying down as if asleep to the issues. And those who are up and moving are merely sleepwalking.

I had a dream about you. I was selling dreams and you were selling sleep. We decided to partner up, until I used some of your product and went for a sleepwalk and fell off...

Never waste any time you can spend sleeping.

She once again thought about how badly she wanted to crawl back beneath the mound of already cooling blankets that covered her bed like an inviting nest.

She herself is a haunted house. She does not possess herself; her ancestors sometimes come and peer out of the windows of her eyes and that is very frightening. She has the mysterious solitude of...

Somebody needs to pet me, and I guess that somebody is me. My cat is busy sleeping.

If I am to choose between “sleeping” and “being part of a leadership that pursues irrelevant agenda”, I will choose “sleeping”. Chasing of irrelevant agenda by a leadership sect is what made Nelson Mandela to...

I had a dream about you where you were an economic hero. So is the real life you like the dream you? Answer this question: If Paul Krugman and Ben Bernanke were about to die,...

I had a dream about you. I had a flat tire on the interstate, which is really embarrassing for a hitchhiker who is using that tire as a substitute for pants. You were the only...

Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?” the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. “Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired.

I don’t think that sleeping with one of the owners gives you the advantages people think it does.

The cops have no idea where my cave is, and your first package has yet to be delivered.”

You’re as likely to see me sleeping on the job as a snooze is liable to grow legs 26.2 miles long and run a larm. What’s a larm? A buzzing sound the length of a...

I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up.

I’m asleep.” You always were more romantic than me.

I had a dream about you. I ran a marathon like a mannequin stands still, and you stood still like Roger Bannister runs errands.

I had a dream about you last night.We moved into a cabin in the countryside.I couldn’t handle the spiders.You couldn’t handle my drama.I moved back to the city.

I am so tired; all I want to do is sleep. I want to sleep all the day, from dawn until twilight that every evening comes a little earlier and a little more drearily. In...

Dreams can only be seen with open eyes, what you see while you asleep are nightmares.

I was half asleep when I first saw her. She thought I was being flirty and winking at her. One eye open, one eye shut, that’s the best way to see love.

If a snake was covered in musical scales, rather than nonsensical fur, then I’d like to pet it with my ears while I sleep for just a few more minutes.

Are there any sleeping jobs, because I have a lot of experience. Years and years, actually. And with on the job training, I can show up to work tired.

Growing up, I had a lot of dreams. I was depressed and I slept all the time.

I went to visit my grandma. I meant to stay for two days, but ended up staying two months. (So I overslept a little).

A non-religious person when awaken would make others sleep. Therefore his sleeping is good. A religious person when awaken will awaken others. Therefore his awakening is good.

She has the mysterious solitude of ambiguous states; she hovers in a no-man’s land between life and death, sleeping and waking.

In the spirit of slumber parties, I want to have a sleepover and invite only narcoleptics.

I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

…there was a shortage of soft furnishings and I’m sorry to say I was forced to use hard liquor.

I had a dream about you. You wrapped the American flag around you like a towel, while I let Russia shower me with praise. The people over there really seemed to love me, probably because...

There is a certain proper and luxurious way of lying in bed. Confucius, that great artist of life, “never lay straight” in bed, “like a corpse”, but always curled up on one side. I believe...

Omally, as ever, slept the sleep of the just, which was quite unjust of him, considering he had no right to do it.

Sleeping on a plank has one advantage – it encourages early rising.

politician,” and must be destroyed.

I have just been elected Captain of the Nap Squad. It’s a very exhausting position, and requires training twice a day, once when I get up and once before bed.

When I found him lying in the ditch holding a shovel, I thought he was sleeping on the job. Turns out he was being even lazier, and he was in fact dead.

I once had a dream about a woman, and the next day she died. I stopped sleeping for three days after that to try to save some lives, but then my body relented and I...

Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.

I spent many a charming evening talking and playing with Albertine, but none so sweet as when I was watching her sleep.

Sleeping is forgetting and forgetting is peace.

Is there any other time to be dancing alone to 50s music than 5 AM? I wish my grandpa thought so, because I’m trying to sleep in the ballroom.

I wasn’t fast asleep. But only because I was sleep walking, and I’m not a speed walker.

When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m making love. I need to arrange my priorities. Sleeping should be first.

I had a dream about you. You fell into my arms like a 120-pound sack of gold coins. So I did what any respectable lover would do—I buried you in the backyard so nobody could...

A company with no advertising is like a car with no headlights—it runs smoothly during the day, when people are awake and shopping, and saves money at night, when people are asleep.

A non-religious prison when awaken would make others sleep. Therefore his sleeping is good. A religious person when awaken will awaken others. Therefore his awakening is good.

After all, in fairy tales, there was only one thing to do. In every story with a long sleep and a waking in it. An easy thing, a pretty thing. Standard currency.

I sleep on my side. And if you’re not on my side, you’re against me.

If you can’t be the change, you can set an example for change. If you can’t set an example for change, you can go and sleep! By all means, you can do something!