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Sleeping  Quotes
I’m a sound sleeper. Every time I hear a sound I wake up. Sometimes I envy Helen Keller.

—Jarod Kintz

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AsleepAwakeHelen-Keller
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I saw an old guy sleeping, and I thought he was dead. But I kept checking his pockets for money, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

—Jarod Kintz

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AgeDeadDeath
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It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you, and you are asleep at the time, you are in both your dreams, and mine. Still, you’re not really in...

—Jarod Kintz

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DreamsHumorInvitation
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When you’re as ugly as I am, you need all the beauty sleep you can get. I’ll be in the restroom resting if you need me. Knock three times so I know it’s you and...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBeautifulBeauty
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I had a dream about you last night… it was raining and you were fishing for fire to set a sandcastle a flame.

—Nicole McKay

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DreamingDreamsFunny
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Tell me a story. Be my storyteller.

—Arzum Uzun

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Arzum-UzunAttributed-No-SourceBest
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I know that there are coaches who do end up sleeping on the sofa in their office.

—Chuck Pagano

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CoachesOfficeSleeping
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I toss and turn so much in my sleep that the very act of sleeping must be exhausting for me. Sleeping makes me want to sleep even more.

—Jarod Kintz

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BedExhaustionFunny
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Through such advanced techniques like sleeping, I started exploring the depths of me. And until you find out who you are, or stop yawning, I suggest you do the same.

—Jarod Kintz

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ExploringFunnySleeping
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I had a dream about you. I was a shoe salesman and you had no feet. I needed to make a sale or I’d be fired, and you needed reliable transportation. I suggested you buy...

—Jarod Kintz

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BuyBuyingDreaming
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A few nights later, I secretly hope that I might be a genius. Why else can no amount of sleeping pills fell my brain? But in the morning my daughter asks me what a cloud...

—Jenny Offill

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BrainCloudsGenius
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I hasten to sleep so that I might dreamand colour my mind with a myriad of things.

—Shaun Hick

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ColorColourDream
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I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out...

—Dora J.

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DreamingDreamsFunny
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Last night I slept like a baby. In a crib.

—Jarod Kintz

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BabyCribHumor
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Sleeping, it’s what cats do best. It’s why they are my heroes.

—Jarod Kintz

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CatCatsCleep
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My cat likes to wake me up by licking my armpit. Never before have I had such a romantic alarm clock. It’s true, man, I should have been born Harry Truman. He could have been...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAlarm-ClockAwake
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I had a dream about you. We were going to change the world. But instead you changed your clothes and changed your mind about going to the bar, so I ended up crying on your...

—Jarod Kintz

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BarChange-The-WorldClothes
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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. –Stephanie Plum

—Janet Evanovich

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EvanovichIntentNapping
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Astride of a grave and a difficult birth.Down in the hole, lingeringly, the grave digger puts on the forceps.We have time to grow old.The air is full of our cries.But habit is a great deadener.At...

—Samuel Beckett

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ConfusionDeadDifficult
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I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people’s...

—Bauvard

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DreamingDreamsFunny
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I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

—Dark Jar

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FocusFunnyHumor
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I match my pajamas to my comforter so I can disappear into sleep. I’m camouflaged into noonexistence, where I don’t wake up until 12:00 PM.

—Jarod Kintz

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BedCamouflageComforter
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Some people sleep their lives away. But I also want to sleep death away. If I sleep long enough, maybe death will think I’m already dead and pass me by.

—Jarod Kintz

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DeathHumorSleep
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Dreams have one-way doors—the door you enter cannot be exited from, and the door you exit from cannot be used for reentry. And I just want to sell tickets to an event people will pay...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdDoorsDream
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You’re right,” Early said. “Those are two different things.””What are?”, I asked, surprised that he thought I was right about ANYTHING.”Dying and sleeping. A person should be able to do one without the other sneaking...

—Clare Vanderpool

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DyingSleeping
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They say teenagers can sleep all day. I often used to look at dogs and be amazed by the way they seemed to sleep for twenty hours a day. But I envied them too. It...

—John Marsden

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Sleeping
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