Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.

One word I’d use to describe space is lonely. The only way I’ll board a space shuttle is if I had a babysitter with me. You know, to watch the baby I’ll make with her.

She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to.

I want to make love like the most romantic thing ever, but I just don’t know how to go about learning how to fornicate like a flower.

The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content.