Shame comes in different doses.

Kalist likes to listen to the collective voices swell as more individuals in his colony arrive.

I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out.

The only ironic thing about that song is that it’s called ‘Ironic’ and it is written by a woman who doesn’t know what irony is. That’s quite ironic when you think about it. (on Alanis...

Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is con­nected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny...

My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable...

Some people seem quite destitute a sense of humour.

The old agility was still present and the passion was undeniable, but it was the wobbling of the gut, the puffing of the cheeks and the profuse sweating that lent the performance its true magic.

The only thing I would unequivocally say is that I have never had any interest in romantic comedy I just couldn’t do it. I think I’d be terrible.

If laughter came in paste format you could squeeze out of a tube, I’ll bet nine out of ten dentists would recommend comedy before bed. The tenth doctor, having just read Tolstoy as deliberately mistranslated...

it’s not about what to think,it’s about how to think.

It’s called ‘Easier, Softer Way,’ … It’s a comedy starring Danny Masterson, Ronnie Warner, John C. McGinley. I have a small part in it.

Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window

It’s a comedy thriller, brilliantly written and it’s full of twists and turns at every page. When I was reading it I was desperate to get to the end to find out what happens, it...

Directors, like actors, get typecast. And because I’ve had great success with comedy and horror and TV shows, that’s basically what I’m kind of offered.

Just relax and breathe through your ass.

Adam thinks that you two are in an argument.”My body zinged into alert mode. My mind didn’t know what Mrs. Vader meant, but my body already did. Even Sean glanced over at her with a...

Would you like some sacred chocolate?’ a girl asked, appearing suddenly at Lara’s side. ‘They’ve very special chocolates,’ she said, pushing a plate of the goods in Lara’s direction. ‘They’re raw and sweetened with Stevia.’Stevia,...

Tim Conway is one of the best-loved comedians in the country. The combination of great comedy with an exciting sport for a worthy cause will be a guaranteed hit with our audience that night.

The Australian flag is noteworthy in that, cosmologically speaking, it’s becoming less accurate with each passing second. By contrast, the cosmological accuracy of the American flag is clearly increasing over time.

If you’ve recruited one intelligence asset, they’ve recruited you all.

Redaction marks are the truth dressed in black burqa.

My father always told me I was too clever times half.

How a dirty little secret gets found out is usually a dirtier little secret.

Read that dogs align themselves with the Earth’s magnetic field when urinating or defecating. Trying it myself this week – so far so good!

For two years I was seeing a sex therapist. I’m now seeing a sex therapist.

Italians speak in italics all the time.

They call it a mushroom cloud because ‘cauliflower cloud’ would just be too scary.

My operational cover won’t withstand scrutiny. It starts blushing and giggling every time.

IF A THING IS WORTH HAVING, ITS WORTH CHEATING FOR.

I’d rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time.

Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed—and it worried him.

I decide to release myself the only way I can imagine: I pee my pants.

She incorporates comedy and funny songs – it’s not the kind of thing you’d typically see at a folk concert, but it’s really unique and fun.

Your toaster’s a puff.

Friendship is constant in all other thingsSave in the office and affairs of love.Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.Let every eye negotiate for itself,And trust no agent; for beauty is a witchAgainst...

It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by...

My comedy does not come from a place of deep cynicism, and I tend to play characters who are naive in some way.

Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail.

Thank you. For being willing to talk. For not turning me in. For… being you.”I’m pretty good at being me,’ I said. ‘I’ve had all these years to practice–I hardly ever get it wrong these...

I don’t believe in virgin sacrifice. It encourages promiscuity at an early age

Obelmäker always suspected Kalist of being a driven man with a determined selfishness that verged on sociopathic, but he actually appears to be suffering for once, in a humane way, like one who has been...

Comedy is tragedy standing on its head with its pants down.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

I would never say never to returning to comedy.

The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat.

An actor who is good at comedy can also be very good at drama, but not necessarily vice versa.

Allegedly, allegedly I say, the R.G.A. were extremely miffed of portrait painted of their monarch, King Tingaling XX, by Master. Portrait apparently, as it’s yet t’be unveiled, depicts King Tingaling XX in rather compromisin’ position...

I felt bad for the girls in my school, who flocked to prom like it was the second coming of Christ, complete with double-rainbows and unicorns.

I think comedy is drama, often. It’s hard to have comedy over a period of time – commercials are one thing, but over a period of time – comedy and tragedy go hand in hand.